I had the month of July planned to the day...literally. I was to go from my Fourth of July celebration at the beach to a week and a half at Roma camp (also at the beach) to an Anti-Trafficking in Persons conference in Sliven, to Sofia to pick up my parents, to a two-week schelp all over Bulgaria.
I made it as far as the Fourth of July celebration.
I had been having these stomach pins sporadically since March. As July hit, I was having one every single day. Finally, on July 3rd, I decided I'd had enough and emailed the office in the middle of the night. I figured I'd get an appointment right after camp, before my folks were due to come.
The next morning I traveled to Tsarevo to be with Americans on the Fourth, and the greater part of the day was spent having fun with Rachel. But sure enough, come evening, the stomach pain returned. I decided not to wait until the end of camp...I emailed Dr. Robert to tell him to put me in at his earliest convienence.
The next day he called and said I could get an appointment in Sofia on the 7th, so I decided to head home. I traveled back the way I had come only the day before, and watched my week at the beach slip away.
Thursday afternoon, the 6th, I traveled towards Sofia. The pain was back, making a pretty miserable 5-hour bus ride. I stayed at Hostel Mostel, which was not pleasant in my current condition. The next morning I went to the office for my exam, and they took me to some clinic for an ultrasound. Yup, it was gallstones. I'd have to be sent to the States for surgery.
That night I spent in Sofia with Monica, a fellow Doverite, and had the worst attack yet...After that, my stomach was toast.
Dear Dr. Robert sent me back to Straldja to wait for my marching orders from Washington. Rosie was very very helpful, as were all my older friends in town. But suddenly all food made me ill to contemplate, and I slowly got weaker and weaker laying in my apartment waiting, just waiting for that blessed call from Sofia.
Finally on Thursday it came. Dr. Robert told me to make my way to the office so I could go over all the paperwork and such on Friday. I took the 6:30 bus the next morning and halfway there, Dr. Robert called my cell phone. They had found a flight for me the next morning. The end of my agony was in sight.
I got to the office around noon and went through all the paperwork (man do they love paperwork). Since my flight was at 7:45 the next morning, they wanted me to sleep in the compound's Sick Bay so the driver could take me bright and early. As soon as it was dark enough to sleep, I got in bed and tried to sleep.
I think I worte about it before, but I must reiterate what a hoot it is to sleep in that compound, complete with two guards, a huge electric fence, bomb-proof doors and cameras in every nook and cranny.
The next morning one of my favorite PC drivers (the silver fox) drove me to the airport and wished me well. I got on a plane and nearly 4 hours later I was in Gatwick airport in London.
Coming out of the check-in area in Gatwick was like Rip Van Winkle waking up in the middle of Times Square. Everything was in English...no Cyrillic anywhere...The were huge stores everywhere, including ones with nothing but English books and eateries with a million kinds of soft drinks. For the first time in a week, I was hungry.
I didn't have any pounds (though I had fistfulls of leva and dollars), so I initially despaired. I was so hungry, and the sandwiches looked amazing. And they had GINGER ALE. And NESTEA. I wanted FOOD.
On a whim, I timidly walked up to a guy refilling the sandwich cases. 'Excuse me,' I asked.
'Yes?' he asked.
'Do you accept...credit cards here?' I said in the careful English I am used to speaking to my students (I never speak English to strangers anymore).
Well, he looked at me like I had asked him if they sold sandwiches there. 'Yes, of course,' he said.
I was in heaven. I could EAT! And use PLASTIC! I stood in line and waited for my turn. When I got to the front, I saw an apparatus like a card scanner in front of me. I asked how to use it.
The woman behind the counter grabbed my card and said, 'Oh, yoouuu don't have a chip.' She then scanned it in the register.
A chip? What in god's name is this 'chip' she spoke of?...I still don't know, but it made me wonder how long it had been since I was in a real Western country (the answer was over 15 months.)
After my little adventures in food, I caught my longer flight to Philadelphia. I arrived at 4-something p.m. local time, and met my folks. I wish I could say it was weird, but it wasn't. Sure the cars were nicer, there was no Bulgarian, the roads were huge and busy, but I think I pictured America so much in my mind's eye that seeing it for real wasn't a real shock. We'll see how it goes after a few days.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
A Ploy for Comments
This was started by Melody. Answer it or else...
Leave a comment with your name and:
1. I’ll respond with something random about you.
2. I’ll challenge you to try something.
3. I’ll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you.
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal of which you remind me.
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.
Leave a comment with your name and:
1. I’ll respond with something random about you.
2. I’ll challenge you to try something.
3. I’ll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you.
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal of which you remind me.
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
The Long-Expected Beast
This here entry is a huge entry about a trip which took place at the beginning of this month.
This is the story of one Peace Corps volunteer’s journey to the far reaches of her host country with a gaggle of her crazy students and colleagues. Some parts of the following epic might be inappropriate for readers with weaker stomachs or overly-sensitive sensibilities. Be forewarned.
The Departure
We left at 6:30 a.m. from Hotel Hemus in the town center. The bus was clean, the students showered and alert even at that time in the morning, and the course mapped before us.
We followed the main road through town towards the Balkan foothills that lie directly to the north. As we began our summit, I learned a new verb: povrushtam. Translation: to vomit.
The plain-raised, rarely-traveled kids took to the mountains like horses to water. It started with Yoli, one of the girls in my fifth grade class. Her classmate, Mische, tugged on my arm. “Gospozho, Yoli povurne!”
At the time I didn’t know the verb. “What?” I asked.
“Yoli povurne!” she repeated.
Rosie, who was sitting next to me, jumped up. “She’s throwing up,” she told me.
Sure enough, Yoli was bringing up her breakfast juice in a little plastic bag two seats behind me. No one was really paying attention or hooting or hollering (as they would certainly be doing in America). She just did her business and tied up the bag.
A few moments later, one of the older boys made his way to the front of the bus. He had turned an unnatural color of whitish-gray, the color of someone who hasn’t seen sunlight…ever. “I don’t feel good,” he told my colleague Toschko, who was in the frontmost seat. Toschko made him sit down next to the window, and the kid laid his head on the window and visibly tried to keep his stomach contents internal.
There was a brief respite from the illness during our first roadside break an hour into the trip. Almost as soon as we started again, the swaying of the bus hit again.
Another of the older boys came to the front, not quite as pale as the first boy, but obviously not okay. He sat down in the aisle, and I dug around my bag for my Peace Corps supply of chewable Pepto Bismol tablets. I gave each of the boys one, and one to Yoli, and decided to keep them near at hand.
Three minutes later a second fifth-grader, Zarko, reached for a bag. His seatmate Stefan alerted us, “Gospozho, Zarko povrushta!” He too did his business without fuss and tied up his bag. I administered some Pepto, and we continued on.
When in Bulgaria
Our first stop was about 3 hours into the trip in the ancient capital of Bulgaria, Veliko Preslav. We immediately disembarked and asked a local where we could find toilets. She pointed to a hill, around which there was the remains of a fortress wall. We headed to the ruins, and set up a system of outdoor peeing…Boys went first, then the girls. There we were, lined up in a row, popping a squat.
As soon as we had finished, we turned around and say actual bathrooms on the top of the hill. Woops.
From that little grove we wandered to some more ruins which were currently being unearthed by a team of folks. Nearby there was what I assume is the only remaining true tourist attraction of the town…the Zlatna Chirkva (Golden Church).
To be honest, I can no better describe the church than its name can. It was yellow, and a church. End of story.
After schlepping around in that set of ruins, we re-boarded the bus and headed to Shumen, one of the bigger Bulgarian cities.
Becca being Grudzina
We arrived in Shumen just at noon, and immediately headed for the main event in town…the huge-ass monument to Bulgarian liberation at the top of a mountain. It’s a thousand-and-some stairs up, and worth every huff and puff.
As usual, I got stuck in a middle gap between the kids who rushed ahead and the kids who lagged behind. I was alone, but it didn’t disturb me because hell, it’s a big staircase. How could I get lost?
I made it up about a billion of the stairs and came to a road. There was an abandoned café in front of me, and a road that went off to my left. Thinking I had made it to the top and needed to just find the monument, I followed the road.
I followed and followed. It went through a little forest, then crossed the plateau on the top of the mountain. For three or four kilometers I walked, all the time thinking I was close, that I HAD to be closing in on it.
Eventually, I did. I saw the huge stone walls across a meadow, and walked towards it.
When I got there, I was alone. It was dead silent except for the wind howling over the mountain and echoing in the stone chamber. I was alone in a world of gray stone statues, twenty-times as big as myself, holding swords and scowls, on the top of a hill with no town or people in sight. And friends, it was creepy.
Just as I was starting to freak out (I had held it off for a good long time), I found the slowpokes from my group. “Wow, where were you?” they asked. I told them I had taken the road, and they all laughed, silly American. They took my camera, snapped a photo of me next to one of the stone beasts, and showed me where the staircase was.
Where I had turned left and followed the road, I SHOULD have taken a hidden stairwell to the right of the abandoned café. Again, woops.
The Mysterious Toschko
Once I made it down the kajillion stairs, I wandered to the town center to meet the bus. We boarded and headed out to Madara, a small town near Shumen known only for it’s ancient carving of a horse, dog and lion on a cliff.
Most of the kids didn’t care about the carving, so they stayed at the bus and Toschko and I took the good…I mean interested…kids up the stairs.
At the top, some of my fifth and sixth graders stared pointing things out to me. After a few minutes, I looked up and saw Toschko “talking” with this group of two women and a man.
I couldn’t understand what was happening. He was speaking broken Bulgarian and using his hands with random English words. At first I thought the people were Bulgarian, and I couldn’t understand why he was talking that way to them. This went on for a good minute or two until he saw me looking at him.
“Becca, Deutsch!” he called to me, pointing at the people. In Toschko language, I knew this meant they were Germans.
In English, one of the women said, “We aren’t German. We’re Swiss.”
The English, as it always does now, caught me off guard and I stared at them for a moment. Then I said, “Oh, you speak English?”
“Yes,” the woman said. “Do you?”
“Yes,” I said. “Toschko was trying to explain to you what is carved into the cliff.”
At the mention of his name, Toschko perked up and yelled to the kids, “Kazhete na Angliski ‘kohn!’” (Say ‘horse’ in English!)
All of my little fifth and sixth graders hollered, “Horse! Horse! Horse!” and began flailing their arms pointing to the horse on the cliff.
“A sega, ‘kuche’!” (And now, ‘dog!’) Toschko yelled.
“Dog! Dog! Dog!” the kids replied, this time franticly pointing to the dog.
The poor Swiss tourists had no clue what was happening. Finally the other woman said, “Oh, we read about this in the book.” Then she added, “Are you a school group?”
I explained that we were on a school trip, and that these were my students who were eager to try out their English.
“So, you are Bulgarian?” she asked.
“No, no. I’m American. I am just teaching here,” I said.
“Oh, I THOUGHT you spoke English awfully well,” she said with a chuckle.
By that time Toschko and the kids had become bored with all the English and started to leave me behind to go to the caves. Not wanting a repeat of the Shumen mishap, I trotted off after them. Unfortunately, the caves were closed (a rock fell on a kid last fall and they decided it was unsafe…) so we headed to the bus and rolled on to Varna.
Introduction to Zarko’s Whistle
Zarko (one of my fifth grade boys) bought a whistle in Shumen, one of those recorder-type whistles sold the world over. It became a full-blown character of the story, in my opinion.
As soon as he got it, it was evident that he and Naska, one of my colleagues, would exist at opposite ends of the whistle-spectrum – Zarko on the side that the whistle was always appropriate, and Naska on the side that it was better used as a weapon.
Zarko played and played. On the bus he played. He played in the toilet and when wandering outside. He tooted it along with the songs on the radio, tunelessly but rhythmically. He did it without malice, but without regard to those around him and just how annoying it was.
Finally, as we neared Varna, Naska had had enough. She had told him to put it away, stop playing it, but he had continued, and she wasn’t in a good mood anymore. She grabbed the whistle from the boy, and smacked his hand with it.
He huffed and reached for it. She snapped his hand again.
An older boy came up to ask if he could smoke. Naska was fed up with him to, and smacked him with the whistle.
Zarko began to cry. “Not the whistle! Not my whistle!” The older boy cowered beneath the light smacks, but didn’t relent. Naska kept smacking him, and Zarko kept wailing “Not my whistle!”
After a while the boy returned to his seat, Zarko calmed down, and Naska kept the whistle caught in her tight fist. But it was not the end of the story of the whistle…
White White People
On our way to Varna we stopped at the second capital of Bulgaria, the name of which escapes me, to climb around the old basilica ruins.
We arrived in Varna around 4 p.m., the sea capital of Bulgaria, and were dropped off by the Archeological Museum in the town center.
It was a special day at the museum. It was one of the rare occasions when the collection of the world’s oldest worked gold (which is almost entirely made up of gold found in Bulgaria) had found its way home to Varna. Most of the time it travels the world, only returning to Bulgaria once every several years.
Some of this stuff was amazing. No, scratch that, all of it was. I am not generally terribly impressed with Bulgarian museums (it happens when you’ve lived in London…), but THIS impressed me. The younger kids really appreciated it. The older kids tolerated it while waiting for their next cigarette.
Once we were done there we set the kids free in the city (a common feature of Bulgarian fieldtrips) and we teachers headed for some grub. After two hours, we boarded the bus and went to our hotel – a “Rest Center” north of the town.
Since Bulgarians don’t have much money, and their resorts’ prices are catered to foreign wallets, they rarely have a choice but to stay in such Rest Centers rather than hotels. Rooms are generally clean, but Spartan. This center we were sharing with a group of Russians who were on their 23-day vacation.
These Russians were…white. They were literally the whitest white people I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been to Sweden in November. It was as if their skin had never seen sun, EVER. While we were all putting on sweatshirts and jean jackets to ward off the evening chill, they were in bathing suits and flip-flops.
Most of my kids have studied a little Russian, and the languages are close enough that with hand gestures, they could understand one another. The Russians, however, did not understand MY Bulgarian, but had studied English.
The center was not in any town, so the kids’ antics were confined to the pool and the immediate area, another bonus to the out-of-the-way rest center. I slept in a room with the other three female teachers (Rosie, Tanya and Naska), and actually got a decent night’s sleep.
A Changing Bulgaria
Day two started with the same monastery built into a cliff I saw the first time I went to Varna. Cost of admittance had increased from 50 stotinki (like 30 cents) to 2 leva (like $1.50) due to the new rules that Bulgarians and foreigners must pay the same price for things. While this may not seem like much, when you have budgeted a trip to last stotinka, it’s a hit.
Once we had our look around we headed to Balchik, a town further north up the coast. The main sight there is this amazing botanical garden overlooking the sea, which tops any garden I have ever seen.
I ended up wandering around with my little group of fifth graders. While precious, they were also annoying as hell.
Each one of them wanted their picture taken in exactly the same place, but by themselves. This basically meant that every ten minutes I had to take four separate pictures of the same exact thing, only switching up the kid. When I suggested group shots, they all scowled and huffed. Then I called them Japanese tourists, and though I doubt they got the joke, it became our little catch phrase. I’d say, “Where are the Japanese tourists?” and they’d all come running.
After the gardens we drove to Cape Kaliakra. It is a cape with these crazy high and jagged cliffs and a tragic legend…Apparently when the Turks were invading, some of the Christian girls who lived on the cape decided they’d rather die than be raped by the Muslim Turks, so they tied their braids to the rocks, wrapped them around their necks, and jumped off of the cliff to hang themselves. There is a creepy monument depicting this at the entrance to the cape.
Besides being a beautiful, very wild-looking spot, there wasn’t much to do. We took our photos and headed out towards Silistra on the Danube.
Not So Blue
I hadn’t yet seen the Danube, so I was very excited. You hear so much about it…It’s more famous than even the Mississippi! But, like the Mississippi, it is just a river, a fact that hits you when you visit it and see, yup…it’s water with land on the other side. (Granted, in this case the land was Romania, but still).
After touring the city’s fort, we were set loose in the center for a while to find food and find the river. Some of the boys immediately found beers to drink, which infuriated Tanya, who until that point had been overly lax with the kids. “Most of them have never SEEN the Danube,” she said. “They aren’t people!”
Once we had taken a sufficient amount of photos, we herded up the kids and found our second “hotel,” – an old communist campsite outside of the town. (During communism they used to send kids to these camps where they lived in dorms and such. Now they are run down, but still operate for such trips).
It was in the boondocks, if ever I’ve seen boondocks. Flat river-plain all around. Grass up to your ass. A brick building that had once been an attractive dorm now dilapidated to a roof and some walls.
I was in a room with Rosie, which shared a bathroom with the room where my fifth grade girls slept. Rosie and I and the other teachers lingered outside chatting while the kids caused a raucous inside. At around 10 p.m. I went inside to find my cell phone and found my girls hiding in their room.
“Gospozho! There was a MOUSE!” they cried.
Not sure I had understood them, I asked, “A mouse?”
“Yes!” they yelled. “We called one of the older boys and he chased it out, but it went into your room!”
Great, I thought.
As I was getting ready for bed, Mitko, one of the sixth grade boys who is a bit of a pansy and had been with the fifth grade girls for most of the trip, asked me if he could sleep in their room because he was scared to sleep downstairs with the older (and drunk) kids. I couldn’t make him do it, so I told him it was fine.
A few minutes later Galka, one of the fifth grade girls, came and said they didn’t want him busting in on their slumber party. In an effort to salvage the kids’ feelings, I told him he had to come sleep in the room with Rosie and I to protect her from the mouse. He took the bait, and took his responsibility seriously by sleeping with a shoe in his hand.
Payback’s a B****
The kids partied and partied. They drank beer they had bought in town. They played loud music and danced and danced. Naska was on duty that night, and the kids never let her go to sleep. With Naska, apparently, this was a mistake.
Naska is a matronly lady, and as such she is accustomed to disciplining children with smacks and hollers. When she was denied sleep, her usual ways were heightened by acute sleep deprivation and a thirst for revenge.
When we boarded the bus, the older kids looked rough. Haggard. Utterly hung over and tired.
Naska grabbed the bus microphone and announced, “No one will sleep. You didn’t sleep last night, so you will not sleep on this bus.” She then brandished a stick she had found outside. “If you fall asleep, I’ll hit you with this stick.”
A few minutes into the drive, the kids in the back of the bus started to nod off.
Zarko began to toot his whistle again. But instead of Naska yelling at him, she grinned at him and said, “Go play that in the back.”
Happily, he hopped out of his seat and ran to the back of the bus, playing nonsensical notes into his whistle and squeaking and bouncing around.
A few minutes later there was a loud screech and Zarko came barreling up the aisle with an eight grader at his heels. The older kid grabbed the whistle and started smacking Zarko with it, pushing him into his seat. Naska stood up and started beating the older kid with her stick. The eight grader hightailed it back to his seat, and Zarko grinned at Naska.
We stopped briefly in Ruse, the most European city in Bulgaria, and then began the long trek home. From that time on, there are no stories really worth recounting…It was hot, and everyone was exhausted.
We arrived back in Straldja around 6 p.m., just as dusk reached its prettiest. And we all headed home to rest.
This is the story of one Peace Corps volunteer’s journey to the far reaches of her host country with a gaggle of her crazy students and colleagues. Some parts of the following epic might be inappropriate for readers with weaker stomachs or overly-sensitive sensibilities. Be forewarned.
The Departure
We left at 6:30 a.m. from Hotel Hemus in the town center. The bus was clean, the students showered and alert even at that time in the morning, and the course mapped before us.
We followed the main road through town towards the Balkan foothills that lie directly to the north. As we began our summit, I learned a new verb: povrushtam. Translation: to vomit.
The plain-raised, rarely-traveled kids took to the mountains like horses to water. It started with Yoli, one of the girls in my fifth grade class. Her classmate, Mische, tugged on my arm. “Gospozho, Yoli povurne!”
At the time I didn’t know the verb. “What?” I asked.
“Yoli povurne!” she repeated.
Rosie, who was sitting next to me, jumped up. “She’s throwing up,” she told me.
Sure enough, Yoli was bringing up her breakfast juice in a little plastic bag two seats behind me. No one was really paying attention or hooting or hollering (as they would certainly be doing in America). She just did her business and tied up the bag.
A few moments later, one of the older boys made his way to the front of the bus. He had turned an unnatural color of whitish-gray, the color of someone who hasn’t seen sunlight…ever. “I don’t feel good,” he told my colleague Toschko, who was in the frontmost seat. Toschko made him sit down next to the window, and the kid laid his head on the window and visibly tried to keep his stomach contents internal.
There was a brief respite from the illness during our first roadside break an hour into the trip. Almost as soon as we started again, the swaying of the bus hit again.
Another of the older boys came to the front, not quite as pale as the first boy, but obviously not okay. He sat down in the aisle, and I dug around my bag for my Peace Corps supply of chewable Pepto Bismol tablets. I gave each of the boys one, and one to Yoli, and decided to keep them near at hand.
Three minutes later a second fifth-grader, Zarko, reached for a bag. His seatmate Stefan alerted us, “Gospozho, Zarko povrushta!” He too did his business without fuss and tied up his bag. I administered some Pepto, and we continued on.
When in Bulgaria
Our first stop was about 3 hours into the trip in the ancient capital of Bulgaria, Veliko Preslav. We immediately disembarked and asked a local where we could find toilets. She pointed to a hill, around which there was the remains of a fortress wall. We headed to the ruins, and set up a system of outdoor peeing…Boys went first, then the girls. There we were, lined up in a row, popping a squat.
As soon as we had finished, we turned around and say actual bathrooms on the top of the hill. Woops.
From that little grove we wandered to some more ruins which were currently being unearthed by a team of folks. Nearby there was what I assume is the only remaining true tourist attraction of the town…the Zlatna Chirkva (Golden Church).
To be honest, I can no better describe the church than its name can. It was yellow, and a church. End of story.
After schlepping around in that set of ruins, we re-boarded the bus and headed to Shumen, one of the bigger Bulgarian cities.
Becca being Grudzina
We arrived in Shumen just at noon, and immediately headed for the main event in town…the huge-ass monument to Bulgarian liberation at the top of a mountain. It’s a thousand-and-some stairs up, and worth every huff and puff.
As usual, I got stuck in a middle gap between the kids who rushed ahead and the kids who lagged behind. I was alone, but it didn’t disturb me because hell, it’s a big staircase. How could I get lost?
I made it up about a billion of the stairs and came to a road. There was an abandoned café in front of me, and a road that went off to my left. Thinking I had made it to the top and needed to just find the monument, I followed the road.
I followed and followed. It went through a little forest, then crossed the plateau on the top of the mountain. For three or four kilometers I walked, all the time thinking I was close, that I HAD to be closing in on it.
Eventually, I did. I saw the huge stone walls across a meadow, and walked towards it.
When I got there, I was alone. It was dead silent except for the wind howling over the mountain and echoing in the stone chamber. I was alone in a world of gray stone statues, twenty-times as big as myself, holding swords and scowls, on the top of a hill with no town or people in sight. And friends, it was creepy.
Just as I was starting to freak out (I had held it off for a good long time), I found the slowpokes from my group. “Wow, where were you?” they asked. I told them I had taken the road, and they all laughed, silly American. They took my camera, snapped a photo of me next to one of the stone beasts, and showed me where the staircase was.
Where I had turned left and followed the road, I SHOULD have taken a hidden stairwell to the right of the abandoned café. Again, woops.
The Mysterious Toschko
Once I made it down the kajillion stairs, I wandered to the town center to meet the bus. We boarded and headed out to Madara, a small town near Shumen known only for it’s ancient carving of a horse, dog and lion on a cliff.
Most of the kids didn’t care about the carving, so they stayed at the bus and Toschko and I took the good…I mean interested…kids up the stairs.
At the top, some of my fifth and sixth graders stared pointing things out to me. After a few minutes, I looked up and saw Toschko “talking” with this group of two women and a man.
I couldn’t understand what was happening. He was speaking broken Bulgarian and using his hands with random English words. At first I thought the people were Bulgarian, and I couldn’t understand why he was talking that way to them. This went on for a good minute or two until he saw me looking at him.
“Becca, Deutsch!” he called to me, pointing at the people. In Toschko language, I knew this meant they were Germans.
In English, one of the women said, “We aren’t German. We’re Swiss.”
The English, as it always does now, caught me off guard and I stared at them for a moment. Then I said, “Oh, you speak English?”
“Yes,” the woman said. “Do you?”
“Yes,” I said. “Toschko was trying to explain to you what is carved into the cliff.”
At the mention of his name, Toschko perked up and yelled to the kids, “Kazhete na Angliski ‘kohn!’” (Say ‘horse’ in English!)
All of my little fifth and sixth graders hollered, “Horse! Horse! Horse!” and began flailing their arms pointing to the horse on the cliff.
“A sega, ‘kuche’!” (And now, ‘dog!’) Toschko yelled.
“Dog! Dog! Dog!” the kids replied, this time franticly pointing to the dog.
The poor Swiss tourists had no clue what was happening. Finally the other woman said, “Oh, we read about this in the book.” Then she added, “Are you a school group?”
I explained that we were on a school trip, and that these were my students who were eager to try out their English.
“So, you are Bulgarian?” she asked.
“No, no. I’m American. I am just teaching here,” I said.
“Oh, I THOUGHT you spoke English awfully well,” she said with a chuckle.
By that time Toschko and the kids had become bored with all the English and started to leave me behind to go to the caves. Not wanting a repeat of the Shumen mishap, I trotted off after them. Unfortunately, the caves were closed (a rock fell on a kid last fall and they decided it was unsafe…) so we headed to the bus and rolled on to Varna.
Introduction to Zarko’s Whistle
Zarko (one of my fifth grade boys) bought a whistle in Shumen, one of those recorder-type whistles sold the world over. It became a full-blown character of the story, in my opinion.
As soon as he got it, it was evident that he and Naska, one of my colleagues, would exist at opposite ends of the whistle-spectrum – Zarko on the side that the whistle was always appropriate, and Naska on the side that it was better used as a weapon.
Zarko played and played. On the bus he played. He played in the toilet and when wandering outside. He tooted it along with the songs on the radio, tunelessly but rhythmically. He did it without malice, but without regard to those around him and just how annoying it was.
Finally, as we neared Varna, Naska had had enough. She had told him to put it away, stop playing it, but he had continued, and she wasn’t in a good mood anymore. She grabbed the whistle from the boy, and smacked his hand with it.
He huffed and reached for it. She snapped his hand again.
An older boy came up to ask if he could smoke. Naska was fed up with him to, and smacked him with the whistle.
Zarko began to cry. “Not the whistle! Not my whistle!” The older boy cowered beneath the light smacks, but didn’t relent. Naska kept smacking him, and Zarko kept wailing “Not my whistle!”
After a while the boy returned to his seat, Zarko calmed down, and Naska kept the whistle caught in her tight fist. But it was not the end of the story of the whistle…
White White People
On our way to Varna we stopped at the second capital of Bulgaria, the name of which escapes me, to climb around the old basilica ruins.
We arrived in Varna around 4 p.m., the sea capital of Bulgaria, and were dropped off by the Archeological Museum in the town center.
It was a special day at the museum. It was one of the rare occasions when the collection of the world’s oldest worked gold (which is almost entirely made up of gold found in Bulgaria) had found its way home to Varna. Most of the time it travels the world, only returning to Bulgaria once every several years.
Some of this stuff was amazing. No, scratch that, all of it was. I am not generally terribly impressed with Bulgarian museums (it happens when you’ve lived in London…), but THIS impressed me. The younger kids really appreciated it. The older kids tolerated it while waiting for their next cigarette.
Once we were done there we set the kids free in the city (a common feature of Bulgarian fieldtrips) and we teachers headed for some grub. After two hours, we boarded the bus and went to our hotel – a “Rest Center” north of the town.
Since Bulgarians don’t have much money, and their resorts’ prices are catered to foreign wallets, they rarely have a choice but to stay in such Rest Centers rather than hotels. Rooms are generally clean, but Spartan. This center we were sharing with a group of Russians who were on their 23-day vacation.
These Russians were…white. They were literally the whitest white people I’ve ever seen, and I’ve been to Sweden in November. It was as if their skin had never seen sun, EVER. While we were all putting on sweatshirts and jean jackets to ward off the evening chill, they were in bathing suits and flip-flops.
Most of my kids have studied a little Russian, and the languages are close enough that with hand gestures, they could understand one another. The Russians, however, did not understand MY Bulgarian, but had studied English.
The center was not in any town, so the kids’ antics were confined to the pool and the immediate area, another bonus to the out-of-the-way rest center. I slept in a room with the other three female teachers (Rosie, Tanya and Naska), and actually got a decent night’s sleep.
A Changing Bulgaria
Day two started with the same monastery built into a cliff I saw the first time I went to Varna. Cost of admittance had increased from 50 stotinki (like 30 cents) to 2 leva (like $1.50) due to the new rules that Bulgarians and foreigners must pay the same price for things. While this may not seem like much, when you have budgeted a trip to last stotinka, it’s a hit.
Once we had our look around we headed to Balchik, a town further north up the coast. The main sight there is this amazing botanical garden overlooking the sea, which tops any garden I have ever seen.
I ended up wandering around with my little group of fifth graders. While precious, they were also annoying as hell.
Each one of them wanted their picture taken in exactly the same place, but by themselves. This basically meant that every ten minutes I had to take four separate pictures of the same exact thing, only switching up the kid. When I suggested group shots, they all scowled and huffed. Then I called them Japanese tourists, and though I doubt they got the joke, it became our little catch phrase. I’d say, “Where are the Japanese tourists?” and they’d all come running.
After the gardens we drove to Cape Kaliakra. It is a cape with these crazy high and jagged cliffs and a tragic legend…Apparently when the Turks were invading, some of the Christian girls who lived on the cape decided they’d rather die than be raped by the Muslim Turks, so they tied their braids to the rocks, wrapped them around their necks, and jumped off of the cliff to hang themselves. There is a creepy monument depicting this at the entrance to the cape.
Besides being a beautiful, very wild-looking spot, there wasn’t much to do. We took our photos and headed out towards Silistra on the Danube.
Not So Blue
I hadn’t yet seen the Danube, so I was very excited. You hear so much about it…It’s more famous than even the Mississippi! But, like the Mississippi, it is just a river, a fact that hits you when you visit it and see, yup…it’s water with land on the other side. (Granted, in this case the land was Romania, but still).
After touring the city’s fort, we were set loose in the center for a while to find food and find the river. Some of the boys immediately found beers to drink, which infuriated Tanya, who until that point had been overly lax with the kids. “Most of them have never SEEN the Danube,” she said. “They aren’t people!”
Once we had taken a sufficient amount of photos, we herded up the kids and found our second “hotel,” – an old communist campsite outside of the town. (During communism they used to send kids to these camps where they lived in dorms and such. Now they are run down, but still operate for such trips).
It was in the boondocks, if ever I’ve seen boondocks. Flat river-plain all around. Grass up to your ass. A brick building that had once been an attractive dorm now dilapidated to a roof and some walls.
I was in a room with Rosie, which shared a bathroom with the room where my fifth grade girls slept. Rosie and I and the other teachers lingered outside chatting while the kids caused a raucous inside. At around 10 p.m. I went inside to find my cell phone and found my girls hiding in their room.
“Gospozho! There was a MOUSE!” they cried.
Not sure I had understood them, I asked, “A mouse?”
“Yes!” they yelled. “We called one of the older boys and he chased it out, but it went into your room!”
Great, I thought.
As I was getting ready for bed, Mitko, one of the sixth grade boys who is a bit of a pansy and had been with the fifth grade girls for most of the trip, asked me if he could sleep in their room because he was scared to sleep downstairs with the older (and drunk) kids. I couldn’t make him do it, so I told him it was fine.
A few minutes later Galka, one of the fifth grade girls, came and said they didn’t want him busting in on their slumber party. In an effort to salvage the kids’ feelings, I told him he had to come sleep in the room with Rosie and I to protect her from the mouse. He took the bait, and took his responsibility seriously by sleeping with a shoe in his hand.
Payback’s a B****
The kids partied and partied. They drank beer they had bought in town. They played loud music and danced and danced. Naska was on duty that night, and the kids never let her go to sleep. With Naska, apparently, this was a mistake.
Naska is a matronly lady, and as such she is accustomed to disciplining children with smacks and hollers. When she was denied sleep, her usual ways were heightened by acute sleep deprivation and a thirst for revenge.
When we boarded the bus, the older kids looked rough. Haggard. Utterly hung over and tired.
Naska grabbed the bus microphone and announced, “No one will sleep. You didn’t sleep last night, so you will not sleep on this bus.” She then brandished a stick she had found outside. “If you fall asleep, I’ll hit you with this stick.”
A few minutes into the drive, the kids in the back of the bus started to nod off.
Zarko began to toot his whistle again. But instead of Naska yelling at him, she grinned at him and said, “Go play that in the back.”
Happily, he hopped out of his seat and ran to the back of the bus, playing nonsensical notes into his whistle and squeaking and bouncing around.
A few minutes later there was a loud screech and Zarko came barreling up the aisle with an eight grader at his heels. The older kid grabbed the whistle and started smacking Zarko with it, pushing him into his seat. Naska stood up and started beating the older kid with her stick. The eight grader hightailed it back to his seat, and Zarko grinned at Naska.
We stopped briefly in Ruse, the most European city in Bulgaria, and then began the long trek home. From that time on, there are no stories really worth recounting…It was hot, and everyone was exhausted.
We arrived back in Straldja around 6 p.m., just as dusk reached its prettiest. And we all headed home to rest.
Becca vs The Wasp
What follows is a graphic account of my killing a wasp recently...And by recently, I mean ten minutes ago.
I walked into my kitchen and heard a loud buzzzzzzing. Lo and behold, next to the hole between my balcony-door frame and the out-of-doors, there buzzed one of the biggest wasps I've seen in a long time.
The cat began batting at it, and it grew madder and madder. To prevent the oncoming battle, I grabbed my nearest weapon, a broom, and smacked the damn thing. I smacked and smacked, until it was stunned enough to fall to the floor.
I then grabbed a more substantial weapon to finish the job -- my metal dustpan. I slammed the edge of the pan down on it's body, but missed and ended up chopping off the monster's stinger.
The damn thing kept buzzing, kept spinning on its side. I next aimed for the head. I held the edge of the pan on the neck part connecting the head to the body. I don't know if it was increased terror on the wasp's part, or the fact that the vibrations of his buzzing were reviberating off the metal, but the sound was of murder. The monster's buzzing became louder, more frantic, more stricken.
After a few moments, but what seemed and eternity, the head was cut free of the body. I felt certain my battle was over. But when I lifted the pan, the body continued to buzz and spin around and around. I aimed as best I could and jabbed the edge of the pan dead center on the tiny body. After three strikes, the body lay still.
I swept up the whole mess and disposed of it in the garbage can. Then i came to write this post.
Keep your eyes open for my post about my excursion to the Danube Plain with the kiddos...I swear, it's coming..........
I walked into my kitchen and heard a loud buzzzzzzing. Lo and behold, next to the hole between my balcony-door frame and the out-of-doors, there buzzed one of the biggest wasps I've seen in a long time.
The cat began batting at it, and it grew madder and madder. To prevent the oncoming battle, I grabbed my nearest weapon, a broom, and smacked the damn thing. I smacked and smacked, until it was stunned enough to fall to the floor.
I then grabbed a more substantial weapon to finish the job -- my metal dustpan. I slammed the edge of the pan down on it's body, but missed and ended up chopping off the monster's stinger.
The damn thing kept buzzing, kept spinning on its side. I next aimed for the head. I held the edge of the pan on the neck part connecting the head to the body. I don't know if it was increased terror on the wasp's part, or the fact that the vibrations of his buzzing were reviberating off the metal, but the sound was of murder. The monster's buzzing became louder, more frantic, more stricken.
After a few moments, but what seemed and eternity, the head was cut free of the body. I felt certain my battle was over. But when I lifted the pan, the body continued to buzz and spin around and around. I aimed as best I could and jabbed the edge of the pan dead center on the tiny body. After three strikes, the body lay still.
I swept up the whole mess and disposed of it in the garbage can. Then i came to write this post.
Keep your eyes open for my post about my excursion to the Danube Plain with the kiddos...I swear, it's coming..........
Sunday, June 04, 2006
My First Escape from Bulgarland
It began with a 13-hour journey on what can only be called "The Chalga/Gangster Rap/Techno Bus from Hell."
The tour bus picked up we Straldja folk from outside of the school at 5:45 a.m. We immediately headed over to Nova Zagora to pick up the other group on our tour...A group that became the bane of our existance.
These kids were crazy. They, too, we seniors, but the hoarde of teachers with them seemed to have no control. As soon as they boarded at 6:45 a.m., all hell broke loose. They had brought several CDs of "music." I use quote marks because teenagers in Bulgaria (I'd say 99% of them) listen to 5 rap songs, souless techno and chalga. They had also come armed with whistles (a common feature in discotechs) and I'm pretty sure some of them were drunk. The driver, who had the professionalism of a 17-year-old hooligan, proceeded to play their CDs as loud as the little bus speakers could take, and then some.
The kids from Nova Zagora were up dancing, shaking their hips, hanging out of the skylight, blowing the whistles, and counting to twelve (other Bulgarian PCVs will understand the annoyance of this...) I could handle this, maybe, for an hour. But this was for 13. And I'm not joking.
We had one hour-long stop at the border and then a few other 10-minute breaks. But except for those, this was the state of affairs on our bus for the long tredge around the northern Greek coast of the Agean Sea.
Apart from the throbbing in my head, there was some beautiful coastline. The craggy, forested mountains dipped into the sea. The rain clouds we were running away from gathered in foggy clusters around little bays and ebbs in the landscape. When we escaped the clouds and found the sun, the water turned a crystal blue that sort of melted into the sky at the horizon. It was exactly how I pictured Greece in my dreams (and I am told the islands are even better.) When we finally arrived, it was late evening.
Our hotel was in a beach town called Paralia, in the northern part of the penninsula. No one lives there -- it is strictly hotels and tourist beachiness. All of the buildings were cotton candy pink and yellow and blue...When I caught a glimpse of the pink water at sunset, I realized why the buildings were painted so. The Greeks paint their buildings to match the sea, which matches the sky, and it all swirls together until you feel as though you've fallen into a big heap of cotton candy.
The first night I spent in a fruitless search for money...The town's only ATM was out of order, and by the time I got to the exchange place it was closed. I decided to call it an early day at 10:30 p.m. and went to bed. The next day the Nova Zagora hoodlums hit the beach and our more mature students decided to take a bus trip to Meotora.
I had been told it was a bunch of monasteries on some rocks, but that did not prepare me... Deep in Thessaly, there exist these huge stone columns on which monks have built a complex of monestaries (check out THAT sentence! word.) The buildings themselves, made of stone, seem to just grow out of the tops of these cliffs. (Well, they aren't cliffs. They are like cliffs without an actual mountain. Just columns of stone.) They look like a natural part of the landscape, along with the trees and stone and sun and sky.
We wandered around two of the monasteries, taking literally bazillions of pictures, and wearing monastery-supplied skirts so as not to scandalize the resident monks. The rose gardens were some of the best I've ever seen, and the weather was perfect -- hot, sunny, clear.
In the late afternoon we headed back to our town to relax on the beach for a few hours. Once the sun went down, we wandered the streets of Paralia shopping and eating and "loving the vibe." (See, the Greeks go home and rest from 1 to 5 p.m., and all stores close. Therefore, they are open from, say, 5 to 11 p.m. It's kinda cool.)
The next day we got up early to board the bus...again. We spent several hours in Thessaloniki, one of the oldest and most important cities in the world. I liked the town, pretty much a ritzy and clean Plovdiv on the sea. We didn't get much time for it, however, seeing as we had to get back to Bulgaria.
I suppose we left the city at 3 p.m. We made a few stops, were subjected to a concert by the Nova Zagora hoodlums on the bus microphone followed by several hours of techno party, and baked in the late afternoon Greek sun until we made it to the border at 11 p.m.
It took us an hour to clear Greek customs. Then it took us another hour to clear Bulgarian customs. My "leaving Greece" stamp is for May 28, and my "Entering Bulgaria" stamp is for May 29.
By that time of night, the kids were more or less asleep and the techno stopped. At 3 a.m. we rolled into Nova Zagora again, and I disembarked with the tour guide and the tour guide from another bus (they are tourism students in Sofia). The three of us waited at a gas station on the highway for a bus they said would go through at 4:30 a.m. to Sofia. We got some beeps and propositions while standing on the highway, but I never felt unsafe.
We flagged the bus down (literally) as it drove through and took seats on the top deck. I dozed for about and hour, and four hours later we made it to the central bus station in Sofia. The father of one of the tourguides offered me a ride to the OTHER bus station, where I caught bus number 3 to Dupnitsa. There I caught bus number 4 to Bobov Dol, where I finally could lay my hat.
I stayed there for three days as a resource volunteer for the new trainees. Andy, my trainingmate who calls Bobov Dol home, and I played 1950s couple for my visit, and I got to see his school. It felt good to impart wisdom in newbies...And it's ALWAYS nice to speak English. Yeah, I've lost steam. I'm distracted. Bye.
The tour bus picked up we Straldja folk from outside of the school at 5:45 a.m. We immediately headed over to Nova Zagora to pick up the other group on our tour...A group that became the bane of our existance.
These kids were crazy. They, too, we seniors, but the hoarde of teachers with them seemed to have no control. As soon as they boarded at 6:45 a.m., all hell broke loose. They had brought several CDs of "music." I use quote marks because teenagers in Bulgaria (I'd say 99% of them) listen to 5 rap songs, souless techno and chalga. They had also come armed with whistles (a common feature in discotechs) and I'm pretty sure some of them were drunk. The driver, who had the professionalism of a 17-year-old hooligan, proceeded to play their CDs as loud as the little bus speakers could take, and then some.
The kids from Nova Zagora were up dancing, shaking their hips, hanging out of the skylight, blowing the whistles, and counting to twelve (other Bulgarian PCVs will understand the annoyance of this...) I could handle this, maybe, for an hour. But this was for 13. And I'm not joking.
We had one hour-long stop at the border and then a few other 10-minute breaks. But except for those, this was the state of affairs on our bus for the long tredge around the northern Greek coast of the Agean Sea.
Apart from the throbbing in my head, there was some beautiful coastline. The craggy, forested mountains dipped into the sea. The rain clouds we were running away from gathered in foggy clusters around little bays and ebbs in the landscape. When we escaped the clouds and found the sun, the water turned a crystal blue that sort of melted into the sky at the horizon. It was exactly how I pictured Greece in my dreams (and I am told the islands are even better.) When we finally arrived, it was late evening.
Our hotel was in a beach town called Paralia, in the northern part of the penninsula. No one lives there -- it is strictly hotels and tourist beachiness. All of the buildings were cotton candy pink and yellow and blue...When I caught a glimpse of the pink water at sunset, I realized why the buildings were painted so. The Greeks paint their buildings to match the sea, which matches the sky, and it all swirls together until you feel as though you've fallen into a big heap of cotton candy.
The first night I spent in a fruitless search for money...The town's only ATM was out of order, and by the time I got to the exchange place it was closed. I decided to call it an early day at 10:30 p.m. and went to bed. The next day the Nova Zagora hoodlums hit the beach and our more mature students decided to take a bus trip to Meotora.
I had been told it was a bunch of monasteries on some rocks, but that did not prepare me... Deep in Thessaly, there exist these huge stone columns on which monks have built a complex of monestaries (check out THAT sentence! word.) The buildings themselves, made of stone, seem to just grow out of the tops of these cliffs. (Well, they aren't cliffs. They are like cliffs without an actual mountain. Just columns of stone.) They look like a natural part of the landscape, along with the trees and stone and sun and sky.
We wandered around two of the monasteries, taking literally bazillions of pictures, and wearing monastery-supplied skirts so as not to scandalize the resident monks. The rose gardens were some of the best I've ever seen, and the weather was perfect -- hot, sunny, clear.
In the late afternoon we headed back to our town to relax on the beach for a few hours. Once the sun went down, we wandered the streets of Paralia shopping and eating and "loving the vibe." (See, the Greeks go home and rest from 1 to 5 p.m., and all stores close. Therefore, they are open from, say, 5 to 11 p.m. It's kinda cool.)
The next day we got up early to board the bus...again. We spent several hours in Thessaloniki, one of the oldest and most important cities in the world. I liked the town, pretty much a ritzy and clean Plovdiv on the sea. We didn't get much time for it, however, seeing as we had to get back to Bulgaria.
I suppose we left the city at 3 p.m. We made a few stops, were subjected to a concert by the Nova Zagora hoodlums on the bus microphone followed by several hours of techno party, and baked in the late afternoon Greek sun until we made it to the border at 11 p.m.
It took us an hour to clear Greek customs. Then it took us another hour to clear Bulgarian customs. My "leaving Greece" stamp is for May 28, and my "Entering Bulgaria" stamp is for May 29.
By that time of night, the kids were more or less asleep and the techno stopped. At 3 a.m. we rolled into Nova Zagora again, and I disembarked with the tour guide and the tour guide from another bus (they are tourism students in Sofia). The three of us waited at a gas station on the highway for a bus they said would go through at 4:30 a.m. to Sofia. We got some beeps and propositions while standing on the highway, but I never felt unsafe.
We flagged the bus down (literally) as it drove through and took seats on the top deck. I dozed for about and hour, and four hours later we made it to the central bus station in Sofia. The father of one of the tourguides offered me a ride to the OTHER bus station, where I caught bus number 3 to Dupnitsa. There I caught bus number 4 to Bobov Dol, where I finally could lay my hat.
I stayed there for three days as a resource volunteer for the new trainees. Andy, my trainingmate who calls Bobov Dol home, and I played 1950s couple for my visit, and I got to see his school. It felt good to impart wisdom in newbies...And it's ALWAYS nice to speak English. Yeah, I've lost steam. I'm distracted. Bye.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
When the weather gets hot, hOT, HOT!...
The kids get bad, bAD, BAD! They want vacation. I want vacation. It's basically time to ride out the year with all of our egos (and our mental health) in tact. I can not say my first year of teaching was a failure, but it was not a brilliant sucess either. I have resigned myself to the fact that the most memorable, inspiring moments of my Bulgarian career will not take place within the classroom -- a fact that is somewhat disheartening considering that, in effect, that's where they're are SUPPOSED to happen...I am here as a teacher, no?
But that's how life goes. No sense in kicking yourself about yesterday.
Becca VS The Bulgarian Postal System continues.....
I had my birthday on Saturday. Since so many people looove me in America, I got 4 packages the week leading up to the big day. Four packages?!...I said. How can I carry four packages on public transport back from Yambol?!
So I employed the help of my Bulgarian friend Peter. I mainly needed him for his extra arms and muscles, but he also has a car...which came in very VERY handy. Turns out he also has wicked Bulgarian skills (being Bulgarian) and can lay the smackdown. But I digress...
On Wednesday morning I met him at the bus stop and we drove to Yambol. It was too early to get the boxes (there is, as I have mentioned, an hour window in which to retrieve them), so we left the ticket stubs with a security guard and took a bit of a walk. Once 10:30 came, we headed back to where I have always gone for boxes. There was no one around, and I think GREAT! Fast.
The ladies in the room where I always get boxes looked at me strangely. I told them I had a package to pick up. They told me to go into the next room as if it had always been that way and I must have had some brain damage to not know this.
Now I will digress a moment to explain this switch. All winter, when there was snow and coldness all around, we were forced to wait outside on the loading dock until it was our turn.
With this new room, however, we are forced to wait in this cramped little mailroom where people go to pick up mail from their PO boxes...It's hot now. All winter we froze on the dock, and now we are sweating our bums off inside this tiny mailroom. But hey, it makes sense...no?
Anyway, back to the story. All through this, Peter is flabbergasted. He can't believe I have to go to Yambol. He can't believe the time and day restrictions. He can't believe they keep yanking the procedure around and changing it on me. When we finally got called into the room (after waiting behind tons of others confused by the new system), Peter found his final straw.
The customs man was there.
This is the man made infamous by my "I am a terrorist because my parents mailed me a Koran (which was actually a children's book)" incident. He hadn't been there in a while, but this time I had ammo. I had Peter.
As soon as we walked in, Peter vocalized his displeasure at the system. The customs officer got his panties in a twist and began to tell Peter exactly why he was wrong and exactly how much power he, the customs officer, had. He then began to look through the books to find my boxes' paperwork.
He couldn't one of the packages. I showed him on the floor where four packages with my name rested. He told me I had three packages in the books. I told him I had four packages on the floor. He showed me the page in the book. I showed him the package on the floor.
In his customs officer snooty voice, he told me he would have to investigate. I told him one final time that there it was, my package, on the floor, with my name, and they had it. In the meantime, he said without even acknowledging that I had spoken, he would begin to search the contents of the boxes.
This, THIS got Peter angry. When the customs officer opened the first box, he pulled out the customs slip of contents and began trying to sound out the English words. There were two words: Books and Candy.
Inside the box was a cake mix, a tub of icing, some random candy items, a wrapped gift that felt like books, and a box...of...tea...
The customs officer grabbed everything out one by one and asked what it was. I explained the cake, the wrapped books, the candies. Then he unearthed the BOX OF TEA.
"What is THIS?!" he literally yelled at me.
"It's tea," I told him. Peter looked like he was about to go postal.
"Is THAT books or candy?!" he demanded.
"OHHHH!" Peter interjected. "Yeah, tea is really bad! Tea is a problem!"
"It was not declared!" the custom's officer yelled.
"It's TEA! You aren't even supposed to open packages!" Peter argued.
"I can open any package I want to! I can open ALL packages!" the customs officer yelled.
Not sure if that was true or not, Peter said, "FINE! Check these!" He proceeded to shove the rest of the stack towards the officer.
The customs officer had met his match. "Get out of here," he said.
The nicer lady next to him interjected lightly..."She needs to sign for them."
I put down my signature, picked up half of the boxes, Peter got the other half, and we bolted out of the room.
Let me say this much...I hate the Yambol Post Office.
How to Have a Bulgarian Birthday
1. Get lots of food (it's your treat...You lucky Birthday-Person.)
2. Get a box of chocolates to give out to people. Scratch that, get FIVE boxes of chocolates. (There's a lot of people!)
3. Put on your best smile and listening cap. People will string together some of the most beautiful (and detailed) blessings you will ever receive, all the while shaking your hand and leaving you with no choice but to nod and smile blankly and murmur, "Merci. Merci."
4. If your birthday falls on graduation, put on a nice outfit and hit up the prom. They will sing to you, stand and applaud you, give you flowers, request your favorite slow Bulgarian song and dance with you. They will give you (and all of the other teachers) whiskey and rakiya, and have you drinking until you can't feel your teeth.
5. Wear comfortable shoes for the 30-minute horos through the restaurant, the garden, the parking lot, and back through the restaurant.
6. Prepare yourself to dance the Twist, for when the DJ finds out a real live American is in the audience, he or she WILL play it.
7. If you go to bed at 2 a.m., do NOT get up at 6 a.m. to catch an 8-hour train ride.
8. If on that 8-hour train ride a couple comes into your first-class compartment with a box full of baby chickens, do not be alarmed. This is normal.
9. Celebrate with Americans at some point. It's super-fun to speak English.
10. If you can find a rugby party with unlimited beer and wine, go to it. But make sure it has a working sound system or else you will end up singing '80s chick songs to a crowd of strange (and drunk) Frenchmen.
11. Be thankful for your friends -- American and Bulgarian....In America and in Bulgaria. They make you feel loved.
Disclaimer for Pending Inactivity
I have frequently been MIA as of late, but this week I will be more so. This weekend (Friday through Sunday) I will accompany the recently-graduated 12th class on their trip to northern Greece. Once we return home I will get myself to Sofia, and from there to Bobov Dol, for three days as a resource volunteer for the new trainees. I am looking forward to meeting the fresh faces who have not yet been mangled and hardened by a year in the Bulgarian education system. If I can say one thing that they carry on throughout the coming year I will have suceeded. Wish me safe travels, and I promise a lot of cool pictures later.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
A Murder Mystery for Ninth Grade
Here is a little skit I wrote for my ninth graders to learn. Not the greatest in history, but it's something...
Detective: Are you Mrs. Collins?
Mrs. Collins: Yes, I am Detective. I’m glad you’ve come.
Detective: Where is the body?
Mrs. Collins: In the kitchen. Just this way, sir.
Detective: How did you know the victim?
Mrs. Collins: She was my sister, Katherine. She was visiting from New York.
Detective: When did you last see her?
Mrs. Collins: Last night. We ate dinner at 8 o’clock, and then she went to sleep. She wasn’t feeling well.
Detective: When did you find her?
Mrs. Collins: When I woke up this morning. I went to the kitchen to make breakfast. She was lying on the floor and there was blood everywhere. That’s when I called the police.
Detective: Have you touched her?
Mrs. Collins: No.
Detective: Do you know anyone who wanted to hurt your sister?
Mrs. Collins: No! She was very kind, very happy. She never hurt anyone!
Detective: Was anyone else in the house yesterday?
Mrs. Collins: Our other sister, Alison Williams was here with her husband, Roger. Oh, and my friend Amanda Jameson was here in the afternoon.
Detective: I will have to talk to all of them.
Mrs. Collins: If you want, I can call them.
Detective: Very well. Tell them to come to your house.
Miss Jameson: Good morning. Are you the detective investigating Katherine’s murder?
Detective: Yes I am. You must be Miss Jameson. Pleased to meet you.
Miss Jameson: It’s quite horrible, isn’t it? Katherine was such a wonderful woman.
Detective: Yes she was. Please sit down. I have some questions to ask.
Miss Jameson: Of course. I will do anything I can to help.
Detective: How did you know the victim?
Miss Jameson: I am her sister’s colleague, and we were friends.
Detective: What were you doing at her house yesterday?
Miss Jameson: It was her birthday. We had a small party at lunch. Just Katherine, her sisters and her brother-in-law.
Detective: What time did you leave?
Miss Jameson: I left around 4 in the afternoon. I had work at my office.
Detective: When did you finish the work?
Miss Jameson: Oh, I don’t remember. Probably around 10 o’clock.
Detective: Where did you go after you left the office?
Miss Jameson: I went home and got in bed. I was very tired.
Detective: Did anyone see you go home?
Miss Jameson: My doorman. We talked for a few minutes before I went upstairs to my apartment.
Detective: Thank you. That’s all I have to ask at the moment.
Miss Jameson: Let me know if there is anything else you need. Here is my phone number.
Detective: Thank you. Good-bye.
Mrs. Williams: Hurry Roger! I need to see Laura!
Mr. Williams: I’m coming, sweetheart. Please calm down.
Mrs. Williams: Calm down?! How can I calm down? My sister was killed!
Mr. Williams: I know, Amanda. But you need to breathe.
Mrs. Williams (sees the detective): Oh sir! Are you the detective?
Detective: Yes ma’am. May I ask what is your name?
Mrs. Williams: I am Amanda Williams, Katherine’s older sister.
Detective: Oh yes. And you must be Roger Williams.Mr. Williams: Yes sir. Where is Laura?
Detective: She is in her bedroom. She has had quite a hard morning.
Mrs. Williams: I will go to her.
Detective: Very well. I will just ask your husband some questions. (Amanda leaves.) Now, I understand you were in this house yesterday.
Mr. Williams: Yes. Amanda and I came to celebrate her birthday. We all had lunch together.
Detective: When did you leave?
Mr. Williams: I was the first to leave. I went to the dentist around 1.
Detective: What did you do after the appointment?
Mr. Williams: I did some work at home. I don’t really remember.
Detective: So, you were at home all evening?
Mr. Williams: I think so. I really don’t remember.
Detective: Well, if you remember anything, please call me.
Mr. Williams: I will. Let me find my wife.
Detective: Thank you…I have some questions for her. (Roger leaves. Amanda comes.)
Mrs. Williams: Can I help you Detective?
Detective: Yes ma’am. What time did you leave the party yesterday?
Mrs. Williams: Oh, I stayed with my sisters until the evening. I suppose I left around 6, just before they ate dinner.
Detective: And was your husband at home when you returned?
Mrs. Williams: No, he wasn’t. I think he was at his office.
Detective: He said he came home after his dentist appointment and stayed all evening.
Mrs. Williams: Really? No, no. He wasn’t home when I returned. I made him dinner, but he never came back.
Detective: After the party, when was the first time you saw your husband?
Mrs. Williams: In the middle of the night. He came in while I was sleeping. I woke up for a few minutes, then fell back to sleep.
Detective: Interesting. Does this happen often?
Mrs. Williams: Well, yes. My husband works a lot and often stays at his office until night. It is not unusual.
Detective: Mrs. Williams, do you have keys to your sisters’ house?
Mrs. Williams: Of course. Oh my god, do you think my husband murdered my sister?!
Detective: I didn’t say that. Mrs. Williams, I think we need to talk some more….
Detective: Are you Mrs. Collins?
Mrs. Collins: Yes, I am Detective. I’m glad you’ve come.
Detective: Where is the body?
Mrs. Collins: In the kitchen. Just this way, sir.
Detective: How did you know the victim?
Mrs. Collins: She was my sister, Katherine. She was visiting from New York.
Detective: When did you last see her?
Mrs. Collins: Last night. We ate dinner at 8 o’clock, and then she went to sleep. She wasn’t feeling well.
Detective: When did you find her?
Mrs. Collins: When I woke up this morning. I went to the kitchen to make breakfast. She was lying on the floor and there was blood everywhere. That’s when I called the police.
Detective: Have you touched her?
Mrs. Collins: No.
Detective: Do you know anyone who wanted to hurt your sister?
Mrs. Collins: No! She was very kind, very happy. She never hurt anyone!
Detective: Was anyone else in the house yesterday?
Mrs. Collins: Our other sister, Alison Williams was here with her husband, Roger. Oh, and my friend Amanda Jameson was here in the afternoon.
Detective: I will have to talk to all of them.
Mrs. Collins: If you want, I can call them.
Detective: Very well. Tell them to come to your house.
Miss Jameson: Good morning. Are you the detective investigating Katherine’s murder?
Detective: Yes I am. You must be Miss Jameson. Pleased to meet you.
Miss Jameson: It’s quite horrible, isn’t it? Katherine was such a wonderful woman.
Detective: Yes she was. Please sit down. I have some questions to ask.
Miss Jameson: Of course. I will do anything I can to help.
Detective: How did you know the victim?
Miss Jameson: I am her sister’s colleague, and we were friends.
Detective: What were you doing at her house yesterday?
Miss Jameson: It was her birthday. We had a small party at lunch. Just Katherine, her sisters and her brother-in-law.
Detective: What time did you leave?
Miss Jameson: I left around 4 in the afternoon. I had work at my office.
Detective: When did you finish the work?
Miss Jameson: Oh, I don’t remember. Probably around 10 o’clock.
Detective: Where did you go after you left the office?
Miss Jameson: I went home and got in bed. I was very tired.
Detective: Did anyone see you go home?
Miss Jameson: My doorman. We talked for a few minutes before I went upstairs to my apartment.
Detective: Thank you. That’s all I have to ask at the moment.
Miss Jameson: Let me know if there is anything else you need. Here is my phone number.
Detective: Thank you. Good-bye.
Mrs. Williams: Hurry Roger! I need to see Laura!
Mr. Williams: I’m coming, sweetheart. Please calm down.
Mrs. Williams: Calm down?! How can I calm down? My sister was killed!
Mr. Williams: I know, Amanda. But you need to breathe.
Mrs. Williams (sees the detective): Oh sir! Are you the detective?
Detective: Yes ma’am. May I ask what is your name?
Mrs. Williams: I am Amanda Williams, Katherine’s older sister.
Detective: Oh yes. And you must be Roger Williams.Mr. Williams: Yes sir. Where is Laura?
Detective: She is in her bedroom. She has had quite a hard morning.
Mrs. Williams: I will go to her.
Detective: Very well. I will just ask your husband some questions. (Amanda leaves.) Now, I understand you were in this house yesterday.
Mr. Williams: Yes. Amanda and I came to celebrate her birthday. We all had lunch together.
Detective: When did you leave?
Mr. Williams: I was the first to leave. I went to the dentist around 1.
Detective: What did you do after the appointment?
Mr. Williams: I did some work at home. I don’t really remember.
Detective: So, you were at home all evening?
Mr. Williams: I think so. I really don’t remember.
Detective: Well, if you remember anything, please call me.
Mr. Williams: I will. Let me find my wife.
Detective: Thank you…I have some questions for her. (Roger leaves. Amanda comes.)
Mrs. Williams: Can I help you Detective?
Detective: Yes ma’am. What time did you leave the party yesterday?
Mrs. Williams: Oh, I stayed with my sisters until the evening. I suppose I left around 6, just before they ate dinner.
Detective: And was your husband at home when you returned?
Mrs. Williams: No, he wasn’t. I think he was at his office.
Detective: He said he came home after his dentist appointment and stayed all evening.
Mrs. Williams: Really? No, no. He wasn’t home when I returned. I made him dinner, but he never came back.
Detective: After the party, when was the first time you saw your husband?
Mrs. Williams: In the middle of the night. He came in while I was sleeping. I woke up for a few minutes, then fell back to sleep.
Detective: Interesting. Does this happen often?
Mrs. Williams: Well, yes. My husband works a lot and often stays at his office until night. It is not unusual.
Detective: Mrs. Williams, do you have keys to your sisters’ house?
Mrs. Williams: Of course. Oh my god, do you think my husband murdered my sister?!
Detective: I didn’t say that. Mrs. Williams, I think we need to talk some more….
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Becca's Return to Music, Music's Return to Becca
Musica. Music.
I have often heard math geeks say that theirs is the international language. But for me, it is not. For me, the international stabilizer is music.
For those of you who have known me only in the Peace Corps sense have no real idea how much the rest of my life has revolved around music. My mother is a music teacher. My grandmother was a professional organist and choir director. I have been singing since I could talk, and I learned how to read music along with reading words.
I have been good enough a musician to make it into some really good groups, but I am not good enough to be considered "good." I sang in four All-State choirs. I went to an extremely musical college and sang with the amazing choir there. I even got to sing in Carnegie Hall with the All-Eastern choir when I was 16. I've done church choir, church handbells, community choir, marching band, concert band, recitals, music fesitvals, mucial theater.
Some of my happiest memories revolve around music, and nothing in this world has ever been able to calm my sometimes-uncontrolable nerves like singing in a choir. (Singing solo, however, can set my uncontrollable nerves on fire.)
But for the first several months of my time here in Bulgaria, I neglected this part of my personality. Everything was so new, I almost didn't notice the lack of it. The first time I noticed I was lacking something in my soul was during our In-Service Training in November when one of my fellow volunteers played guitar and sang during a break. It was such a comfort to me, I realized I had to work making music back into my life.
About a month ago, my chance came. It had come up in conversation that I have something of a musical background, and the music teacher at school approached me about playing or singing something for the school holiday this Friday. I said I'd be glad to, and I met her after school one day to play through a flute-piano duet.
It was the first time, the FIRST TIME, that I knew the Bulgarian I was with was experiencing the exact same thing I was. We were reading off of one peice of music, and it was a native language to both of us. She doesn't know English, and sometimes I don't know Bulgarian, but when we were sitting at that piano, we were both reading a language that was native to us. And it made me feel very, very close to her...very, very close to someone native to this chunk of rock I live on.
Last week she gave me a CD made by a choir in Yambol. I haven't had time to listen to it until today, so I popped it in while I washed dishes. The third song made me drop my rag and run into my living room.
I had sung it before. I think it's John Rutter, though I am not certain (it is one of the billion choral peices I have committed to this brain over the last 23 years). It is a rendition of the Pie Jesu text, a Latin text as familiar to this protestant as her native tounge. (There are some Latin texts used so frequently in choral music that over time you think of them as English.) And here is this Bulgarian choir singing a song that enters my brain as a sentence of my naroden ezik (mother tounge).
BUT, it is also a naroden ezik for those Bulgarians as well. They have probably sung that Pie Jesu text so much that it enters their brains as Bulgarian. When they look at a sheet of music, they see a bunch of lines with dots and tails.
If you put an American, a Bulgarian, a Chilean, a Belgian, and an Ethiopian together in a room and handed them a sheet of music, the same sounds would eminate from each of them. And they would be making sounds as familiar to them as their mother's voices. It doesn't matter if in one head the note "B" is pronouced "Bee" and in another "Beh" and in another "Bay"...it means the same thing to each of them.
In short, I have found music again. And I think it will make my second year here much richer, as it has in the other 23 years of my life.
I have often heard math geeks say that theirs is the international language. But for me, it is not. For me, the international stabilizer is music.
For those of you who have known me only in the Peace Corps sense have no real idea how much the rest of my life has revolved around music. My mother is a music teacher. My grandmother was a professional organist and choir director. I have been singing since I could talk, and I learned how to read music along with reading words.
I have been good enough a musician to make it into some really good groups, but I am not good enough to be considered "good." I sang in four All-State choirs. I went to an extremely musical college and sang with the amazing choir there. I even got to sing in Carnegie Hall with the All-Eastern choir when I was 16. I've done church choir, church handbells, community choir, marching band, concert band, recitals, music fesitvals, mucial theater.
Some of my happiest memories revolve around music, and nothing in this world has ever been able to calm my sometimes-uncontrolable nerves like singing in a choir. (Singing solo, however, can set my uncontrollable nerves on fire.)
But for the first several months of my time here in Bulgaria, I neglected this part of my personality. Everything was so new, I almost didn't notice the lack of it. The first time I noticed I was lacking something in my soul was during our In-Service Training in November when one of my fellow volunteers played guitar and sang during a break. It was such a comfort to me, I realized I had to work making music back into my life.
About a month ago, my chance came. It had come up in conversation that I have something of a musical background, and the music teacher at school approached me about playing or singing something for the school holiday this Friday. I said I'd be glad to, and I met her after school one day to play through a flute-piano duet.
It was the first time, the FIRST TIME, that I knew the Bulgarian I was with was experiencing the exact same thing I was. We were reading off of one peice of music, and it was a native language to both of us. She doesn't know English, and sometimes I don't know Bulgarian, but when we were sitting at that piano, we were both reading a language that was native to us. And it made me feel very, very close to her...very, very close to someone native to this chunk of rock I live on.
Last week she gave me a CD made by a choir in Yambol. I haven't had time to listen to it until today, so I popped it in while I washed dishes. The third song made me drop my rag and run into my living room.
I had sung it before. I think it's John Rutter, though I am not certain (it is one of the billion choral peices I have committed to this brain over the last 23 years). It is a rendition of the Pie Jesu text, a Latin text as familiar to this protestant as her native tounge. (There are some Latin texts used so frequently in choral music that over time you think of them as English.) And here is this Bulgarian choir singing a song that enters my brain as a sentence of my naroden ezik (mother tounge).
BUT, it is also a naroden ezik for those Bulgarians as well. They have probably sung that Pie Jesu text so much that it enters their brains as Bulgarian. When they look at a sheet of music, they see a bunch of lines with dots and tails.
If you put an American, a Bulgarian, a Chilean, a Belgian, and an Ethiopian together in a room and handed them a sheet of music, the same sounds would eminate from each of them. And they would be making sounds as familiar to them as their mother's voices. It doesn't matter if in one head the note "B" is pronouced "Bee" and in another "Beh" and in another "Bay"...it means the same thing to each of them.
In short, I have found music again. And I think it will make my second year here much richer, as it has in the other 23 years of my life.
Friday, April 28, 2006
three days late and a billion dollars short
Dear Reader, the first anniversary of my arrival in Bulgaria came and went on Tuesday. I wasn't around to commemorate it, and since I commemorated the year in a New Year's blog, I won't repeat myself. But it's been a year within these borders, and that friends is a long time.
So, on Wednesday I had to go to Sofia AGAIN to have an old filling refilled. I was able to take the second bus from Straldja at 6.30 a.m. instead of the 3.45 a.m. one...Travelling in daylight was fun! There are all sorts of cool monuments to Bulgarian national heros and communism along the way. Anyway, let me relate the day's events under smaller sub-headings:
Just Easing You In
I arrived in Sofia slightly behind schedule, so rather than risk it taking public transport to a far-off and strange place and getting lost, I decided to take a cab. I found one at the train station, and we began on our way towards the hotel.
Over the course of conversation, the fact that I was going to see a dentist came up. It also came up that I live in Straldja, and the cab driver looked at me confusedly.
"You came all the way to Sofia to see a dentist?" he asked me.
"Well, this is the dentist my organization uses," I told him.
"Open your mouth," he told me.
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"Let me see your teeth," he said.
I gave him a big, toothy smile.
"AH!" he said. "You're teeth are fine. What do you need a dentist for?"
Not knowing the words for 'cavity' and 'filling,' I just said, "One of them hurts."
He just sort of clicked his tounge and kept driving.
When we arrived at the hotel, we found all of the roads in blocked and police men swarming the place. Apparently some of the NATO folk were going to be guests at the hotel and they were setting up security a day early.
Inside the hotel was a security point complete with a metal detector and an X-ray machine. The guard asked for verification I needed to be at the hotel, and I simply said, "Um, I have a meeting with the dentist..." Amazingly, he waved me through.
Mr. Crazy Swedish Dentist
I have already introduced you to Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist...This time, I met her boss. The man himself. The Swedish Dentist.
I had heard stories of this guy. I had heard that he had a diamond on one of his front teeth. I had heard he was wild. I had heard other things not appropriate to retell here.
I found all of these things are true. He has the same too-fast, slightly-stuttery English that Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist does, and crazy light-brown hair.
He had me sit down in the chair, and started to prep me for the procedure.
"I-I-I-I-I vill num-b the er-r-r-r-ria around da toot," he said. "I-i-i-i-it vill b-b-b-be too painful if I-I-I-I dun't."
He proceded to tell me that if I felt pain, I was to make some sort of sound with my throat. He demonstrated one, which I can only liken to how I imagine a dying elk would sound. He, being Swedish, would probably know this sound pretty well.
Then it was time to start. He gave me my shot, and we waited for a few moments for it to take effect. Once my lip felt swollen, he began his grinding and pressing and digging and scratching. Because it makes me woozy to think about it, I won't describe it in detail...But you know.
How to Speak Bulgarian with a Numb Mouth
The best advice I can offer in this regard is JUST DON'T. Once the filling was fixed, I left the office and made my way to the taxi queue to head up to the office.
When I got into the first cab in line, I proceeded to give the cab driver instructions. In giving them, I managed to spray half a gallon of spit all over the poor guy (who, by the way, was one of the most attractive young men I've seen in a long, long time.) To make matters worse, he seemed to want to hold a conversation, and I, who could still not feel my mouth, found it almost impossible to form Bulgarian words without giving a weather report. After what seemed an eternity, he dropped me off at the office and I made my way through the gate.
Now, I live far away from Sofia. In theory, I should be one of those complete strangers to the folks at the Sofia office. However, when the guard on duty saw me walk through the gate digging in my wallet for my ID card, he waved me through.
"I remember you!" he said to me. "How are you?"
Suprised he had remembered me, I told him I was fine. Immediately he noticed something was up and asked me, "What's wrong with your mouth?"
I told him I had just been to the dentist, and he chuckled.
In the office I stuck to English, which was hard enough to form. After a few short minutes I headed back to the bus station to catch the bus home.
Attractive Man, Unattractive Bling
So on the bus home they were training this new guy to work as the "steward." He had been on my bus in the morning, but I had been too sleepy to notice him.
He was a cute dude. And I don't mean "cute for Bulgaria." He was a good medium height, a solid medium build. Chocolate brown eyes. Almost-blond hair. Attired in a nice J. Crew-style sweater and not-too-tight jeans. And wearing the ugliest gold watch I have ever seen.
I have never seen a peice of jewlery that looked more like it had come out of a plastic egg from a vending machine in a supermarket parking lot than this thing. It was huge and shiny and really discouraging. As much as I just wanted to appreciate looking at this very Western-style guy sitting opposite me, my eye kept being drawn to that monstrosity on his wrist. It was tragic, it really was.
After 5 1/2 hours, I made it home. All tolled it had been 11 hours on a bus, and I was exhausted. With any luck, I will not have to make that trip again in a while.....
So, on Wednesday I had to go to Sofia AGAIN to have an old filling refilled. I was able to take the second bus from Straldja at 6.30 a.m. instead of the 3.45 a.m. one...Travelling in daylight was fun! There are all sorts of cool monuments to Bulgarian national heros and communism along the way. Anyway, let me relate the day's events under smaller sub-headings:
Just Easing You In
I arrived in Sofia slightly behind schedule, so rather than risk it taking public transport to a far-off and strange place and getting lost, I decided to take a cab. I found one at the train station, and we began on our way towards the hotel.
Over the course of conversation, the fact that I was going to see a dentist came up. It also came up that I live in Straldja, and the cab driver looked at me confusedly.
"You came all the way to Sofia to see a dentist?" he asked me.
"Well, this is the dentist my organization uses," I told him.
"Open your mouth," he told me.
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"Let me see your teeth," he said.
I gave him a big, toothy smile.
"AH!" he said. "You're teeth are fine. What do you need a dentist for?"
Not knowing the words for 'cavity' and 'filling,' I just said, "One of them hurts."
He just sort of clicked his tounge and kept driving.
When we arrived at the hotel, we found all of the roads in blocked and police men swarming the place. Apparently some of the NATO folk were going to be guests at the hotel and they were setting up security a day early.
Inside the hotel was a security point complete with a metal detector and an X-ray machine. The guard asked for verification I needed to be at the hotel, and I simply said, "Um, I have a meeting with the dentist..." Amazingly, he waved me through.
Mr. Crazy Swedish Dentist
I have already introduced you to Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist...This time, I met her boss. The man himself. The Swedish Dentist.
I had heard stories of this guy. I had heard that he had a diamond on one of his front teeth. I had heard he was wild. I had heard other things not appropriate to retell here.
I found all of these things are true. He has the same too-fast, slightly-stuttery English that Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist does, and crazy light-brown hair.
He had me sit down in the chair, and started to prep me for the procedure.
"I-I-I-I-I vill num-b the er-r-r-r-ria around da toot," he said. "I-i-i-i-it vill b-b-b-be too painful if I-I-I-I dun't."
He proceded to tell me that if I felt pain, I was to make some sort of sound with my throat. He demonstrated one, which I can only liken to how I imagine a dying elk would sound. He, being Swedish, would probably know this sound pretty well.
Then it was time to start. He gave me my shot, and we waited for a few moments for it to take effect. Once my lip felt swollen, he began his grinding and pressing and digging and scratching. Because it makes me woozy to think about it, I won't describe it in detail...But you know.
How to Speak Bulgarian with a Numb Mouth
The best advice I can offer in this regard is JUST DON'T. Once the filling was fixed, I left the office and made my way to the taxi queue to head up to the office.
When I got into the first cab in line, I proceeded to give the cab driver instructions. In giving them, I managed to spray half a gallon of spit all over the poor guy (who, by the way, was one of the most attractive young men I've seen in a long, long time.) To make matters worse, he seemed to want to hold a conversation, and I, who could still not feel my mouth, found it almost impossible to form Bulgarian words without giving a weather report. After what seemed an eternity, he dropped me off at the office and I made my way through the gate.
Now, I live far away from Sofia. In theory, I should be one of those complete strangers to the folks at the Sofia office. However, when the guard on duty saw me walk through the gate digging in my wallet for my ID card, he waved me through.
"I remember you!" he said to me. "How are you?"
Suprised he had remembered me, I told him I was fine. Immediately he noticed something was up and asked me, "What's wrong with your mouth?"
I told him I had just been to the dentist, and he chuckled.
In the office I stuck to English, which was hard enough to form. After a few short minutes I headed back to the bus station to catch the bus home.
Attractive Man, Unattractive Bling
So on the bus home they were training this new guy to work as the "steward." He had been on my bus in the morning, but I had been too sleepy to notice him.
He was a cute dude. And I don't mean "cute for Bulgaria." He was a good medium height, a solid medium build. Chocolate brown eyes. Almost-blond hair. Attired in a nice J. Crew-style sweater and not-too-tight jeans. And wearing the ugliest gold watch I have ever seen.
I have never seen a peice of jewlery that looked more like it had come out of a plastic egg from a vending machine in a supermarket parking lot than this thing. It was huge and shiny and really discouraging. As much as I just wanted to appreciate looking at this very Western-style guy sitting opposite me, my eye kept being drawn to that monstrosity on his wrist. It was tragic, it really was.
After 5 1/2 hours, I made it home. All tolled it had been 11 hours on a bus, and I was exhausted. With any luck, I will not have to make that trip again in a while.....
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Великден
So it is Velikden (literally "Great Day") which is Orthodox Easter.
In the Bulgarian Orthodox Church, the most traditional of Easter services is actually at midnight on Saturday (well, the start of Sunday). It is a candelight service that put me in mind very much of my Christmas Eve services, only with the added benefit of Bulgarian Chaos.
I met my counterpart, Rosie, outside of my bloc at 11:15 p.m. We walked to the church, which was being protected by two police cars (apparently crowd control). There were swarms of people all over the place, most of them carrying the orange candles always available at these churches. Rosie and I went inside, bought some candles, and managed to shove our way to the alter to light them. (I lit one small one for each member of my immediate family and carried one slightly larger one.)
Then we stood and waited....And waited....And no one seemed to know when anything would happen. Or even WHAT would happen next. After about 15 minutes of everyone standing in a mob inside the church, dripping wax all over, the priest came out and pressed his way through the crowd to the outside. We all followed, pushing and shoving one another, and pushing and shoving the people trying to get inside the church. We were all going to exactly the same place, and we all had candles in our hands, but apparently the pushing and shoving is just a cultural thing that needs to happen. Even when it can result in burns.
Anyway, the priest led us on a walk around the church 3 times. I have still to find someone who can explain why they do this, but I will. Once we made it around, the priest set up camp right outside the door and began to chant. No one was really listening, and people were pushing past him to go in and out of the church. After a few minutes of this, Rosie said it was over and we tried to walk all the way home with our candles lit. I made it to the benches outside of my bloc, which was impressive. I think she made it all the way.
Anyway, I came home and went to bed. The next day, Velikden, was a lovely spring Sunday. The highlight of the day was watching the beginnings of a wedding from my balcony. One of the girls from the business center got married, and the beginning part of Bulgarian weddings looks like so much fun!
First, the whole of the groom's family parades from the groom's house to the bride's house (in this case, she lived in the apartment building next to mine.) They play the guida (Bulgarian bagpipes) and drums and the women horo all the way...Along the way the maid of honor and best man, who will later become the couple's children's godparents, join the parade.
When they arrive at the bride's house, the groom and his immediate family go up to her door and a ritual is performed...I have heard various accounts of this part though I know it includes the groom offering the bride's father money, the father refusing, the groom offering more, and so on until they reach an agreement. Then the bride is brought out, and the dancing starts again for a bit (this time I think it is just to show the bride off to her neighbors.) Then they all parade and dance to the center of town where they go to the municipality building and sign the papers, then to the reception hall where they party to all hours of the night.
And that's a Bulgarian wedding. It is less formal and regimented than American weddings, but I don't know, it's more soulful. It's a true celebration of the community, and the bride and groom are not just the ones on display amongst the guests...It is their special day all over town. It's just...FUN.
In the Bulgarian Orthodox Church, the most traditional of Easter services is actually at midnight on Saturday (well, the start of Sunday). It is a candelight service that put me in mind very much of my Christmas Eve services, only with the added benefit of Bulgarian Chaos.
I met my counterpart, Rosie, outside of my bloc at 11:15 p.m. We walked to the church, which was being protected by two police cars (apparently crowd control). There were swarms of people all over the place, most of them carrying the orange candles always available at these churches. Rosie and I went inside, bought some candles, and managed to shove our way to the alter to light them. (I lit one small one for each member of my immediate family and carried one slightly larger one.)
Then we stood and waited....And waited....And no one seemed to know when anything would happen. Or even WHAT would happen next. After about 15 minutes of everyone standing in a mob inside the church, dripping wax all over, the priest came out and pressed his way through the crowd to the outside. We all followed, pushing and shoving one another, and pushing and shoving the people trying to get inside the church. We were all going to exactly the same place, and we all had candles in our hands, but apparently the pushing and shoving is just a cultural thing that needs to happen. Even when it can result in burns.
Anyway, the priest led us on a walk around the church 3 times. I have still to find someone who can explain why they do this, but I will. Once we made it around, the priest set up camp right outside the door and began to chant. No one was really listening, and people were pushing past him to go in and out of the church. After a few minutes of this, Rosie said it was over and we tried to walk all the way home with our candles lit. I made it to the benches outside of my bloc, which was impressive. I think she made it all the way.
Anyway, I came home and went to bed. The next day, Velikden, was a lovely spring Sunday. The highlight of the day was watching the beginnings of a wedding from my balcony. One of the girls from the business center got married, and the beginning part of Bulgarian weddings looks like so much fun!
First, the whole of the groom's family parades from the groom's house to the bride's house (in this case, she lived in the apartment building next to mine.) They play the guida (Bulgarian bagpipes) and drums and the women horo all the way...Along the way the maid of honor and best man, who will later become the couple's children's godparents, join the parade.
When they arrive at the bride's house, the groom and his immediate family go up to her door and a ritual is performed...I have heard various accounts of this part though I know it includes the groom offering the bride's father money, the father refusing, the groom offering more, and so on until they reach an agreement. Then the bride is brought out, and the dancing starts again for a bit (this time I think it is just to show the bride off to her neighbors.) Then they all parade and dance to the center of town where they go to the municipality building and sign the papers, then to the reception hall where they party to all hours of the night.
And that's a Bulgarian wedding. It is less formal and regimented than American weddings, but I don't know, it's more soulful. It's a true celebration of the community, and the bride and groom are not just the ones on display amongst the guests...It is their special day all over town. It's just...FUN.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Thank God for lesser favors...
Today, dear reader, I was not the only freak in town. I was not even the most conspicuous freak! And it was wonderful.
An acting troop from our fair capital came to town to perform at our "Chitalishte" (cultural center). And friends, they stuck out more than I do.
First of all, there were like 20 of them. You just can't hide a pack of 20 strangers in this town, even if they are Bulgarian. Second of all, I was asked directions like 3 times. I have NEVER, EVERRRR given directions in this town. I mean, EVVVERRRRR. And third of all, they were theater folk. Theater folk don't fit in anywhere outside of a theater, trust me. I used to be one until I realized that even I was too normal and too emotionally balanced to truly fit in. Just imagine, dear reader.
Anyway, I went to see the show. Everyone in town was there, and they were all amused by my attendance. One of the older male teachers for whom I have mentally written this tragic history was there, wearing a tweed suit obviously made during communism and about two sizes too small. It was sweet, really. Here is this suit, the only one he has probably ever been able to afford in his life, saved for special occasions over the last four decades, and brought out for a night at the community theater. It made me smile.
As far as the play went, I didn't understand enough to know if it was good or not. I understood most of the dialog and the plotline, but some of the characterization was lost on me. The leading woman, this 60-something Miss Piggy of a thing, seemed to make quite a lot of mistakes in dialog (such as calling others by the wrong name, forgetting lines and waiting forever to speak), but I don't know if the reasoning for this was worked into the bits of dialogs I didn't quite catch. So bascially, I have no basis on which to judge the production.
I left the theater with a headache from my intense paying attention, and came home to write this very blog. I feel my literary juices flowing again, and I hope they will continue throughout the Easter holiday. Time at home, alone, and potentially bored...There is no better catalyst for my prose.
An acting troop from our fair capital came to town to perform at our "Chitalishte" (cultural center). And friends, they stuck out more than I do.
First of all, there were like 20 of them. You just can't hide a pack of 20 strangers in this town, even if they are Bulgarian. Second of all, I was asked directions like 3 times. I have NEVER, EVERRRR given directions in this town. I mean, EVVVERRRRR. And third of all, they were theater folk. Theater folk don't fit in anywhere outside of a theater, trust me. I used to be one until I realized that even I was too normal and too emotionally balanced to truly fit in. Just imagine, dear reader.
Anyway, I went to see the show. Everyone in town was there, and they were all amused by my attendance. One of the older male teachers for whom I have mentally written this tragic history was there, wearing a tweed suit obviously made during communism and about two sizes too small. It was sweet, really. Here is this suit, the only one he has probably ever been able to afford in his life, saved for special occasions over the last four decades, and brought out for a night at the community theater. It made me smile.
As far as the play went, I didn't understand enough to know if it was good or not. I understood most of the dialog and the plotline, but some of the characterization was lost on me. The leading woman, this 60-something Miss Piggy of a thing, seemed to make quite a lot of mistakes in dialog (such as calling others by the wrong name, forgetting lines and waiting forever to speak), but I don't know if the reasoning for this was worked into the bits of dialogs I didn't quite catch. So bascially, I have no basis on which to judge the production.
I left the theater with a headache from my intense paying attention, and came home to write this very blog. I feel my literary juices flowing again, and I hope they will continue throughout the Easter holiday. Time at home, alone, and potentially bored...There is no better catalyst for my prose.
Look ma! Leafy greens!!
After a long winter of cabbage and various pickled vegetables, lettuce has returned to Bulgaria. And edible tomatoes. And spinach.
On a sidenote...this is what a kilogram of spinach looks like. If you live alone and are not a rabbit, perhaps consider buying half-a-kilo....
Monday, April 17, 2006
Seven Signs of Spring Not Found in Suburbia
1. ROOSTERS. Crowing early. I mean, eeearly. We've hit 4 a.m. folks!
2. STORKS. Not just a ficticious bringer of babies. Their graceful circles and swoops scream SPRING to me now.
3. INFANT LAMBS. Nothing makes a walk home from school better than watching some of these little guys tumbling around a garden. I try to forget that they will evenually be slaughtered for Easter dinner...
4. CLOTHES OUTSIDE drying in less than 4 days. No more sopping carpets for me. There was a time in Suburbia when this would have been a sign of spring, but now not so much.
5. CLEANer AIR that is not filled with the smoke of burning garbage cans and woodstoves.
6. HOMELESS ANIMAL SEX. Loud, often violent-sounding, at all times of the day and night. Females dogs and cats sure don't like it...
7. THE EXODUS of school kids after classes to work in their parents' garden. Gardens are not for show here. They are for basic food needs.
2. STORKS. Not just a ficticious bringer of babies. Their graceful circles and swoops scream SPRING to me now.
3. INFANT LAMBS. Nothing makes a walk home from school better than watching some of these little guys tumbling around a garden. I try to forget that they will evenually be slaughtered for Easter dinner...
4. CLOTHES OUTSIDE drying in less than 4 days. No more sopping carpets for me. There was a time in Suburbia when this would have been a sign of spring, but now not so much.
5. CLEANer AIR that is not filled with the smoke of burning garbage cans and woodstoves.
6. HOMELESS ANIMAL SEX. Loud, often violent-sounding, at all times of the day and night. Females dogs and cats sure don't like it...
7. THE EXODUS of school kids after classes to work in their parents' garden. Gardens are not for show here. They are for basic food needs.
The Norwegian Dental Hygenist and other tales
*to the tune of I'm So Pretty* I'm so sleepy. Oh so sleepy. I feel sleepy, and dirty, and poor.
That's because Becca has moved to Sofia for the week -- the pocket-emptying, dirt-ifying, sleepless, soul-sucking grad to the east. But, they have Pizza Hut, so it's not ALL bad.
I arrived Monday on the famous 3:45 a.m. bus from Straldja. As always, I felt only half-alive by the time I arrived, but the sight of some of my fellow B17s lifted my spirits. The mood in the rest of the office, however, was quite somber as a particular set of volunteers took care of their final business before going home. That's all I'll say about that.
Those of us in town for the Resource Volunteer meeting crowded into the small Primary TEFL office, and had our small training on our responsibilities. (We will be visiting the new kids arriving Monday at their training sites to offer deep insight and set a noble example.) They've picked a good group of us to do it, I think. Then again, we 17s really rock the whole of PC Bulgaria.
Once the meeting was finished I went downtown to check into Hostel Mostel, my home for the week. As soon as I had laid down my load, I managed to find my way to a Subway in this food-courty thing. A SUBWAY. I could hardly believe it. Mmmm, meatballs... I passed the evening with Sarah, who has decided to go home (she made her mind up Monday afternoon). We managed to find our way to the National Palace of Culture to see Brokeback Mountain. (A two-second review: Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams have never been better. I still hate Anne Hathaway. The photography was stunning.)
In an effort to pace my spending, I called it an early night and went "home" to sleep.
So Tuesday. Tuesday was a bonus Day of Nothing. I had no real business, but Dora and Chavdawg agreed it was stoopid to make me go home Monday night, teach Tuesday, then come BACK Wednesday morning at 3:45. Since I had no business, I didn't go near the office. In fact, I didn't go much of anywhere. Sarah came to the hostel and we went out to eat, and then we took a walk through some random park with random communist art. I loves me some communist art. We took photos, chatted with some kiddos, and generally passed the time until she had to take a night train to her town to pack up.
Then it was Wednesday. Ahhh, Wednesday. I had my mid-service physical in the morning, so I got up and headed to the office. Andrea poked and prodded me and told me I wasn't dying so far as she could tell. She also told me that Elena, another 17, would be moving from the hospital (where she had had her appendix removed) to the sick bay in the office.
Since it is odd to sleep alone in the locked office, it was arranged that I would sleep with her on the extra mattress. I went back to the hostel, packed a small bag, and headed down to my dentist appointment.
The Peace Corps has no dentist here in Bulgaria so they send us to this Swedish dude. His office, interestingly enough, is located in a converted guest room in a 5-star hotel. Mr. Swedish Dentist happened to be on vacation this week, so I was handled my Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist.
Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist was typical Norwegian...Blonde. Blue eyed. Fair skinned. And she pronounced it "tar-TAR." I have never had a Scandanavian dental exam before, and I assume you never have either. So let me walk you through it. I was given little plastic booties to put over my shoes when I entered. I was put in the chair and the fast-talking hygenist took my X-rays. Then she took a lazer gun and blasted each of my teeth to remove the tar-TAR. I had extra tar-TAR on the teeth under my tounge, which was extra uncomfortable to remove. Once the lazer gun had done its business, she took the siver hooky thing and scraped each of my teeth to remove even more tar-TAR. My sensitive canines were a'wailing, which exist because I brush too hard (or so says Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist). The next step, however, took the cake. Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist whipped out a goggles/mask jobby and told me that she would, and I quote, "Blaaast [my] teet wit a so-LU-tion of sALT, LEmon, and WWWAter." She told me to keep my eyes closed, and smathered my lips with, I swear to god, body lotion. She proceed to blaaast my teet with this machine that almost drove me mad right there in the chair. Between the air, the coldness, the wetness, and the sheer power, my gums got crazy angry.
When it was all over I rinsed like I've never rinsed before, and realized my face felt like it had been at the beach, unwashed, for upwards of a week. My teeth, on the other hand, felt baby smooth. Once I had wiped a sufficient amount of salt from my face, I caught a cab and went back to the office to hunker down with Elena. And when I say hunker down, I mean it. It was the most secure night of sleep I have ever had, complete with two guards, an electric iron fense and a giant bomb-proof door.
It is a surreal sensation to wake up in an office where people are arriving for work. It seems so...backwards. In any event, I washed up and bit and bummed in the basement lounge until we began our Volunteer Support Network training.
For the afternoon we got to act out volunteers with problems and practice being good listeners. It was really easy to act out volunteers with problems seeing as we'd been in most of the situations ourselves.
Once our training was finished we went en masse to Hostel Mostel which by this time was packed to the gills. I escaped the crowd by meeting my Bulgarian friend, Ivcho, for dinner.
Friday was more of the same. Back to training...and I caught the 5:30 p.m. bus home.
Write more later...
(this blog was written bit by bit from Tuesday until today, the following Monday.)
That's because Becca has moved to Sofia for the week -- the pocket-emptying, dirt-ifying, sleepless, soul-sucking grad to the east. But, they have Pizza Hut, so it's not ALL bad.
I arrived Monday on the famous 3:45 a.m. bus from Straldja. As always, I felt only half-alive by the time I arrived, but the sight of some of my fellow B17s lifted my spirits. The mood in the rest of the office, however, was quite somber as a particular set of volunteers took care of their final business before going home. That's all I'll say about that.
Those of us in town for the Resource Volunteer meeting crowded into the small Primary TEFL office, and had our small training on our responsibilities. (We will be visiting the new kids arriving Monday at their training sites to offer deep insight and set a noble example.) They've picked a good group of us to do it, I think. Then again, we 17s really rock the whole of PC Bulgaria.
Once the meeting was finished I went downtown to check into Hostel Mostel, my home for the week. As soon as I had laid down my load, I managed to find my way to a Subway in this food-courty thing. A SUBWAY. I could hardly believe it. Mmmm, meatballs... I passed the evening with Sarah, who has decided to go home (she made her mind up Monday afternoon). We managed to find our way to the National Palace of Culture to see Brokeback Mountain. (A two-second review: Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams have never been better. I still hate Anne Hathaway. The photography was stunning.)
In an effort to pace my spending, I called it an early night and went "home" to sleep.
So Tuesday. Tuesday was a bonus Day of Nothing. I had no real business, but Dora and Chavdawg agreed it was stoopid to make me go home Monday night, teach Tuesday, then come BACK Wednesday morning at 3:45. Since I had no business, I didn't go near the office. In fact, I didn't go much of anywhere. Sarah came to the hostel and we went out to eat, and then we took a walk through some random park with random communist art. I loves me some communist art. We took photos, chatted with some kiddos, and generally passed the time until she had to take a night train to her town to pack up.
Then it was Wednesday. Ahhh, Wednesday. I had my mid-service physical in the morning, so I got up and headed to the office. Andrea poked and prodded me and told me I wasn't dying so far as she could tell. She also told me that Elena, another 17, would be moving from the hospital (where she had had her appendix removed) to the sick bay in the office.
Since it is odd to sleep alone in the locked office, it was arranged that I would sleep with her on the extra mattress. I went back to the hostel, packed a small bag, and headed down to my dentist appointment.
The Peace Corps has no dentist here in Bulgaria so they send us to this Swedish dude. His office, interestingly enough, is located in a converted guest room in a 5-star hotel. Mr. Swedish Dentist happened to be on vacation this week, so I was handled my Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist.
Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist was typical Norwegian...Blonde. Blue eyed. Fair skinned. And she pronounced it "tar-TAR." I have never had a Scandanavian dental exam before, and I assume you never have either. So let me walk you through it. I was given little plastic booties to put over my shoes when I entered. I was put in the chair and the fast-talking hygenist took my X-rays. Then she took a lazer gun and blasted each of my teeth to remove the tar-TAR. I had extra tar-TAR on the teeth under my tounge, which was extra uncomfortable to remove. Once the lazer gun had done its business, she took the siver hooky thing and scraped each of my teeth to remove even more tar-TAR. My sensitive canines were a'wailing, which exist because I brush too hard (or so says Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist). The next step, however, took the cake. Mrs. Norwegian Hygenist whipped out a goggles/mask jobby and told me that she would, and I quote, "Blaaast [my] teet wit a so-LU-tion of sALT, LEmon, and WWWAter." She told me to keep my eyes closed, and smathered my lips with, I swear to god, body lotion. She proceed to blaaast my teet with this machine that almost drove me mad right there in the chair. Between the air, the coldness, the wetness, and the sheer power, my gums got crazy angry.
When it was all over I rinsed like I've never rinsed before, and realized my face felt like it had been at the beach, unwashed, for upwards of a week. My teeth, on the other hand, felt baby smooth. Once I had wiped a sufficient amount of salt from my face, I caught a cab and went back to the office to hunker down with Elena. And when I say hunker down, I mean it. It was the most secure night of sleep I have ever had, complete with two guards, an electric iron fense and a giant bomb-proof door.
It is a surreal sensation to wake up in an office where people are arriving for work. It seems so...backwards. In any event, I washed up and bit and bummed in the basement lounge until we began our Volunteer Support Network training.
For the afternoon we got to act out volunteers with problems and practice being good listeners. It was really easy to act out volunteers with problems seeing as we'd been in most of the situations ourselves.
Once our training was finished we went en masse to Hostel Mostel which by this time was packed to the gills. I escaped the crowd by meeting my Bulgarian friend, Ivcho, for dinner.
Friday was more of the same. Back to training...and I caught the 5:30 p.m. bus home.
Write more later...
(this blog was written bit by bit from Tuesday until today, the following Monday.)
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned....
My friend Lucia (author of Identity Amnesia), tagged me to play her little confessions game. I will keep this PG-rated for the kiddies, but here'goes.
Name Seven Guilty Pleasures. I'm not talking necessarily about you eating ice cream once a month because it's "so good" but I'm talking about things that create the feeling of regret, creeping into your brain, or secret things that you may not tell anyone else about after or when you do them.
*I like chalga. There, I said it. I don't like all the stars, or all the songs, but the fact that I like any makes me feel like I have no soul. No taste. No brain or individual identity. But come on, "Az bih bila shtasliva do kraya...(I would be happy with you till the end)" has some poetry to it...
*I am secretly extremely lazy. I only ever do enough to look hardworking and diligent to the outside world. Otherwise, it is painfully easy for me to just do nothing.
*I have locked my cat in my closet on purpose...several times. But she was just being so darn annoying!
*I have literally wanted to slap certain students of mine. The important thing here is that I never have.
*I sometimes wear a pair of underwear for 2 days. Or more...It's turned inside out, of course.
*I didn't shave my legs from November until March. And when I finally did, it took three tanks of hot water over three days to complete it.
*I gave up 2 of my 3 Lenten "fasts." They were no watching of Friends, no eating pizza and no chatting online on Fridays. All but the Friends thing were lost...Inadvertantly, but nonetheless lost.
So, I'm not altogether sure who to tag now who hasn't been tagged already. So, if you like, make this little confession.
Name Seven Guilty Pleasures. I'm not talking necessarily about you eating ice cream once a month because it's "so good" but I'm talking about things that create the feeling of regret, creeping into your brain, or secret things that you may not tell anyone else about after or when you do them.
*I like chalga. There, I said it. I don't like all the stars, or all the songs, but the fact that I like any makes me feel like I have no soul. No taste. No brain or individual identity. But come on, "Az bih bila shtasliva do kraya...(I would be happy with you till the end)" has some poetry to it...
*I am secretly extremely lazy. I only ever do enough to look hardworking and diligent to the outside world. Otherwise, it is painfully easy for me to just do nothing.
*I have locked my cat in my closet on purpose...several times. But she was just being so darn annoying!
*I have literally wanted to slap certain students of mine. The important thing here is that I never have.
*I sometimes wear a pair of underwear for 2 days. Or more...It's turned inside out, of course.
*I didn't shave my legs from November until March. And when I finally did, it took three tanks of hot water over three days to complete it.
*I gave up 2 of my 3 Lenten "fasts." They were no watching of Friends, no eating pizza and no chatting online on Fridays. All but the Friends thing were lost...Inadvertantly, but nonetheless lost.
So, I'm not altogether sure who to tag now who hasn't been tagged already. So, if you like, make this little confession.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
woa! where'd the sun go?!
We had a 75% solar eclipse today. I know I must have seen an eclipse before, I can not recall it. This one I watched laying down on my balcony, looking at the reflection of the sun in the window of my balcony door. Some of my students were below me with those glasses things and for sure thought I was nuts for laying on my balcony like that, but I don't care because I saw it! I watched the black semi-circle move across the sun...The world got a little dimmer...And then it was over. And I was covered in dust.
This morning, a beautiful morning by the way, I went to the school for two orders of little business: 1. get my director's signature on a form and 2. to pay for my ticket to Greece with the 12th grade in May. Since I was going to be fast, I wore my 2-sizes-too-big jeans, LVC sweatshirt and no makeup (did I mention I haven't showered since Monday?) What could possibly happen?
A photo shoot. THAT's what could possibly happen.
I walked up to my school to find my director outside with a woman with a camera. She pulled me up to stand next to her without even so much as a greeting, then told me to go upstairs and unlock the super-nice English room a previous volunteer built. They followed me up the four flights and grabbed a bunch of my eighth graders from the hallway to pretend to be my class. I pretended to teach them, and they pretended to learn, for a few minutes while the lady walked around snapping photos. The director took the cloth that was resting on the broken television away, showing the prosperity of the school.
After the shoot, I asked them what the pictures were for. They, apparently, will be used in a presentation on the school's holiday at the end of April. Super. Here is our Peace Corps Volunteer, in all her scrubby glory.
Anyway, I'm sick of writing. Haven't been in the mood for a while. Hopefully this will pass soon, and I will find joy in storytelling again.
This morning, a beautiful morning by the way, I went to the school for two orders of little business: 1. get my director's signature on a form and 2. to pay for my ticket to Greece with the 12th grade in May. Since I was going to be fast, I wore my 2-sizes-too-big jeans, LVC sweatshirt and no makeup (did I mention I haven't showered since Monday?) What could possibly happen?
A photo shoot. THAT's what could possibly happen.
I walked up to my school to find my director outside with a woman with a camera. She pulled me up to stand next to her without even so much as a greeting, then told me to go upstairs and unlock the super-nice English room a previous volunteer built. They followed me up the four flights and grabbed a bunch of my eighth graders from the hallway to pretend to be my class. I pretended to teach them, and they pretended to learn, for a few minutes while the lady walked around snapping photos. The director took the cloth that was resting on the broken television away, showing the prosperity of the school.
After the shoot, I asked them what the pictures were for. They, apparently, will be used in a presentation on the school's holiday at the end of April. Super. Here is our Peace Corps Volunteer, in all her scrubby glory.
Anyway, I'm sick of writing. Haven't been in the mood for a while. Hopefully this will pass soon, and I will find joy in storytelling again.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Ladies and Gentlemen, my roomie
What you see before you: My heater (there are bricks inside that I heat with electicity all night and then they radiate all day through the metal and the holes at the top), my gjuveche I put water in to humidify the air, and my cat cooking herself.
Friday, March 17, 2006
a collection of minor oddities
Oddity 1: The Creepy Kids Who Speak Neither English Nor Bulgarian
The first time it happened was a few weeks ago...A young girl saw me walking home from school and as is normal with the local kids who I do not teach, she crossed the street to grill me. Her opening line -- "Hello. My name is."
I waited for the follow-up. There was none. So I asked, "What?"
"My name is."
What is this girl talking about? I asked her, in Bulgarian, "What's your name?"
She goes, "Yes."
Again I ask, "What's your name?"
"Yes."
WHAT IS GOING ON?! In Bulgarian I explain that what she has in fact said is, "My name is yes."
She just mildly smiles and says, "Yes."
Is she serious? Is she mocking me? She doesn't have the look of a mocker.
*skip to two days ago*
I am walking through the center and this boy, about the same age as the girl, comes up to me. "Hello," he says. I respond with a hello.
"My name is," he says.
Are you KIDDING me? I ask him, in Bulgarian, to repeat.
"My name is."
I ask him, in Bulgarian, what his name is.
"Yes," he says.
I am sick of this linguistic confusion. I ask him, one more time, in Bulgarian, what his name is.
"Stoyan," he tells me. FINALLY, we are getting somewhere.
In very deliberate English I ask, "How are you?"
"Yes yes, Stoyan," he says.
I slowly walk away....
Oddity 2: A Bundle of My Pending Doom
My cat is trying to kill me. And I'm not even joking.
The other night I was hanging in the nice middle-consciousness of the last few moments before a deep sleep. My legs were slightly bent into two knobby mounds under my blanket.
Suddenly, without any sound or other warning, I feel more than see a black ball flying through the darkness, over the mounds of my knees directly towards my face. Before I have a chance to move, a furry belly has landed square on my nose, claws peircing my scalp and the skin below my earlobes, and immediately a motor-like purring commences.
Curious to see what she intends to do now, and trying to make my heart start beating again, I leave her to sit on my face. She sits there a full three minutes before I simply can not stand any more and throw her off of the bed.
Since this incident, she has taken to sleeping on the top of the heater, where it is warm. Last night she layed there for a full three hours, never turning over to warm the other side of her belly. So long as she doesn't cook herself (which, I fear, she is dumb enough to actually do), I'm okay with it.
Oddity 3: My Percieved Superpowers
I have been asked to take on a number of very strange and, frankly, miraculous tasks by the Bulgarians of this town. Apparently, I am an American, which also means I'm MAGIC.
Among these random tasks are finding medicine that isn't available in Europe for my assistant director's daughter, helping the Business Center in town convert their online payment system (me work with computers? you crazy!), finding buyers for my counterpart's husband's partially-finished house in town, and helping another teacher find a job in Rochester.
I understand that as an American, I have more opportunites to do some of these things. And I will try my hardest to fulfill, or at least aid in, most of these situations. But really, I have never had anyone put as much faith in me as these people do. It's pretty intense.
Oddity 4: The Car-Cart
It has finally happened. I have finally seen a donkey-drawn cart towing a car behind it. It was everything I could have hoped it would be.
And I know there were other oddities, but I seem to have forgotten them at the moment. Check back for more.
The first time it happened was a few weeks ago...A young girl saw me walking home from school and as is normal with the local kids who I do not teach, she crossed the street to grill me. Her opening line -- "Hello. My name is."
I waited for the follow-up. There was none. So I asked, "What?"
"My name is."
What is this girl talking about? I asked her, in Bulgarian, "What's your name?"
She goes, "Yes."
Again I ask, "What's your name?"
"Yes."
WHAT IS GOING ON?! In Bulgarian I explain that what she has in fact said is, "My name is yes."
She just mildly smiles and says, "Yes."
Is she serious? Is she mocking me? She doesn't have the look of a mocker.
*skip to two days ago*
I am walking through the center and this boy, about the same age as the girl, comes up to me. "Hello," he says. I respond with a hello.
"My name is," he says.
Are you KIDDING me? I ask him, in Bulgarian, to repeat.
"My name is."
I ask him, in Bulgarian, what his name is.
"Yes," he says.
I am sick of this linguistic confusion. I ask him, one more time, in Bulgarian, what his name is.
"Stoyan," he tells me. FINALLY, we are getting somewhere.
In very deliberate English I ask, "How are you?"
"Yes yes, Stoyan," he says.
I slowly walk away....
Oddity 2: A Bundle of My Pending Doom
My cat is trying to kill me. And I'm not even joking.
The other night I was hanging in the nice middle-consciousness of the last few moments before a deep sleep. My legs were slightly bent into two knobby mounds under my blanket.
Suddenly, without any sound or other warning, I feel more than see a black ball flying through the darkness, over the mounds of my knees directly towards my face. Before I have a chance to move, a furry belly has landed square on my nose, claws peircing my scalp and the skin below my earlobes, and immediately a motor-like purring commences.
Curious to see what she intends to do now, and trying to make my heart start beating again, I leave her to sit on my face. She sits there a full three minutes before I simply can not stand any more and throw her off of the bed.
Since this incident, she has taken to sleeping on the top of the heater, where it is warm. Last night she layed there for a full three hours, never turning over to warm the other side of her belly. So long as she doesn't cook herself (which, I fear, she is dumb enough to actually do), I'm okay with it.
Oddity 3: My Percieved Superpowers
I have been asked to take on a number of very strange and, frankly, miraculous tasks by the Bulgarians of this town. Apparently, I am an American, which also means I'm MAGIC.
Among these random tasks are finding medicine that isn't available in Europe for my assistant director's daughter, helping the Business Center in town convert their online payment system (me work with computers? you crazy!), finding buyers for my counterpart's husband's partially-finished house in town, and helping another teacher find a job in Rochester.
I understand that as an American, I have more opportunites to do some of these things. And I will try my hardest to fulfill, or at least aid in, most of these situations. But really, I have never had anyone put as much faith in me as these people do. It's pretty intense.
Oddity 4: The Car-Cart
It has finally happened. I have finally seen a donkey-drawn cart towing a car behind it. It was everything I could have hoped it would be.
And I know there were other oddities, but I seem to have forgotten them at the moment. Check back for more.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Tale of a woman scorned
Stupid Bulgarian mail.
I have been very gentle with the system.
I've dealt with the fact that I have to go to a town 30 minutes away on public transportation to get any package over 2 kilos.
I've dealt with the fact that I have to go between 10:30 and 11:30 a.m. on Monday, Wednesday or Friday (which with my schedule as an actual working adult means I can only come Wednesday) to get the package.
I've even come to grips with the fact that I always seem to receive the notifications that I have a package on THURSDAY, the day AFTER I am able to go, which means waiting another week.
I find humor in all these things. I find adventure. I write funny blogs about how I am considered a terrorist and interrogated about Victoria Secret Bandaids and children's books.
But today, dear Bulgarian Postal System, you have gone too far. TOO FAR. You have taken a sleeve of Girl Scout thin mints from me. And that, friend, crosses a line.
I will elaborate. Today I went to pick up two packages from home. One was filled with books from my father's company to give to the school. The other was *meant* to have 2 boxes of Girl Scout thin mint cookies and 2 Neutrogena foundation compacts (valued $10 a piece and priceless to me).
The last several times I have gotten packages I have been forced to open them and go over the conents with the people in the office, which I am used to by now. I showed them the books, made small talk about how I teach in Straldja, blah blah.
Then I attempted to open the second box. There was an abnormal amount of tape on it, and it took the three of us a good long time to get it open. When we finally did, I saw two boxes of cookies wrapped in bubblewrap, one of which was open. One sleeve of cookies was missing.
While this may seem strange, I figured that my dad (who is something of a cookie monster) had eaten half of them then threw the rest in the box at the last minute. I did not, however, see any makeup, which had been the original purpose of the package. This I chocked up to my mother's sometimes forgetfulness.
Since both scenerios kind of made sence, and I didn't see a banner sticker that said it had been opened for inspection, I put the cookies in my bag and tossed the box so I didn't have to lug two boxes all the way home.
Once there, I emailed my mom to see what was up with the makeup. She called and said she had included it, and did I check the bubblewrap. (This I had done very carefully.) As soon as she said that, I recalled the opened box of cookies. Again, she said that they had both been full when mailed. Which left one option.....
Some theif in Sofia or somewhere between Sofia and here is EATING MY GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! That's right, a THEIF!
So to all my friends in Bulgaria, heed my warning. When your parents and friends send you things, have them put BIG LABELS over both the upside and bottomside creases. This way, if the box is opened on either side, you will be able to tell, and if there is not an inspection sticker on it you know it was not looked at legally.
May those cookies turn to rancid Augmentin in that theif's mouth. (You guys remember Augmentin? That stuff was gross.)
I have been very gentle with the system.
I've dealt with the fact that I have to go to a town 30 minutes away on public transportation to get any package over 2 kilos.
I've dealt with the fact that I have to go between 10:30 and 11:30 a.m. on Monday, Wednesday or Friday (which with my schedule as an actual working adult means I can only come Wednesday) to get the package.
I've even come to grips with the fact that I always seem to receive the notifications that I have a package on THURSDAY, the day AFTER I am able to go, which means waiting another week.
I find humor in all these things. I find adventure. I write funny blogs about how I am considered a terrorist and interrogated about Victoria Secret Bandaids and children's books.
But today, dear Bulgarian Postal System, you have gone too far. TOO FAR. You have taken a sleeve of Girl Scout thin mints from me. And that, friend, crosses a line.
I will elaborate. Today I went to pick up two packages from home. One was filled with books from my father's company to give to the school. The other was *meant* to have 2 boxes of Girl Scout thin mint cookies and 2 Neutrogena foundation compacts (valued $10 a piece and priceless to me).
The last several times I have gotten packages I have been forced to open them and go over the conents with the people in the office, which I am used to by now. I showed them the books, made small talk about how I teach in Straldja, blah blah.
Then I attempted to open the second box. There was an abnormal amount of tape on it, and it took the three of us a good long time to get it open. When we finally did, I saw two boxes of cookies wrapped in bubblewrap, one of which was open. One sleeve of cookies was missing.
While this may seem strange, I figured that my dad (who is something of a cookie monster) had eaten half of them then threw the rest in the box at the last minute. I did not, however, see any makeup, which had been the original purpose of the package. This I chocked up to my mother's sometimes forgetfulness.
Since both scenerios kind of made sence, and I didn't see a banner sticker that said it had been opened for inspection, I put the cookies in my bag and tossed the box so I didn't have to lug two boxes all the way home.
Once there, I emailed my mom to see what was up with the makeup. She called and said she had included it, and did I check the bubblewrap. (This I had done very carefully.) As soon as she said that, I recalled the opened box of cookies. Again, she said that they had both been full when mailed. Which left one option.....
Some theif in Sofia or somewhere between Sofia and here is EATING MY GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! That's right, a THEIF!
So to all my friends in Bulgaria, heed my warning. When your parents and friends send you things, have them put BIG LABELS over both the upside and bottomside creases. This way, if the box is opened on either side, you will be able to tell, and if there is not an inspection sticker on it you know it was not looked at legally.
May those cookies turn to rancid Augmentin in that theif's mouth. (You guys remember Augmentin? That stuff was gross.)
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Back to Good
I could not leave the faithful readers of Becca's blog stressed about her welfare, could I?
As expected, the clouds from yesterday have passed. The rain has turned to a light snow (which is better because at least you don't get as wet.) The headache appears to have worn itself out after a night of good solid sleep WITHOUT drugs. Yar, today was better.
I don't know if the kids were markedly better today or if my outlook was, but I actually found myself laughing and smiling in two of my classes (and this time not AT the kids.)
In my 8th grade class all the boys skipped with the exception of the two who are not jerks, which made for a very pleasant hour. Kaloyan, one of the boys, would simply not sit and I asked him what the beef was and he said he was antsy, so I decided to have them all do stretches. As soon as all the girls stood to do them, Kaloyan and Atanas (the boys) sat down in the back row and, in Bulgarian, willed the girls' pants to fall down. It was a funny moment, and I appreciate Kaloyan's sense of humor when it is not being plain disruptive. He speaks decent English too, but he is just so darn distracted and lazy and defiant (a typical boy his age) that he frustrates me. Usually if I tell him I am dissapointed in his behavior during a lesson he shapes up for a while.
I don't know if this is just me becoming a better teacher or the loosening my standards to prevent the onslaught of madness, but I am learning to kind of follow what the kids want to do in a lesson so long as it is mildy productive. The 4 girls in that class who speak pretty well wanted to take this Boy Quiz someone had made up rather than do the lesson in the book, so I told them that if they asked the questions in English they could do it. They tried to cheat and slip Bulgarian questions in, but I pounced on that. I also taught them "Knock Knock" jokes and they made one in Bulgarish:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tih. (Bulgarian adjective for "quiet")
Tih who? (sounds like "Tiho!" the Bulgarian command for "Be quiet!")
Geez, I wasn't even being loud!
I think on Thursday I will teach them MASH if they get through the lesson.
Then I had my 5a class...the huge, slowly-getting-out-of-hand class. There is a massive dichotomy in that class between the kids who know a good bit of English and will probably track out of this place after 7th grade to go to Yambol and those who still can't read the alphabet, despite my offerings of extra help and classes. I was in a good mood today, so the chaos was not as wearing on me.
We were going over new words from the chapter and I was writing the English and Bulgarian on the board. One of the boys yelled, "Hey missus! Your handwriting is better than mine!" to which I quipped, "I know!" and we all laughed. Sometimes I messed up a word, and the kids all chuckled and rushed up to the board to help me. I hate getting bumrushed even in the best of moods, so I had them call out the letters to me if I didn't know the word. With 30 kids yelling at you in a foreign language, it's hard to understand anyone and we had some laughs trying to get me to figure out the correct spelling.
In the middle of the class, one of the other boys yelled, "Missus, this is the first time you've laughed in our class!" This might be true, and I told them that it would happen more often if they made me happy. They contemplated this, so perhaps I will have my happiness to use a weapon (I think they won't like to see me upset now that they know I have a nice smile. Teehee.) I am not blindly optimistic though. It's all very day-by-day here, if you couldn't tell.
After them I had my sixth graders, and they were okay until the three toxic boys came in late. Like most of my classes, they'd be fine if I could just get rid of those three boys...Well, one in particular who drives the other two astray. This is where In School Suspension would come in handy. That class is almost entirely male, and I have found that boys are much easier led into loud, disruptive behavior than girls. While in play situations I prefer the rough-and-tumble boy life, I definately like teaching girls en masse more.
And that was that for my Day Proper. I had a SIP that no one showed for (no doubt it's too cold for them) and a lesson they also didn't show for (again, it's cold). Now I am home, chilling with the cat who is pissed because I cut her fingernails this afternoon. Tomorrow the Peace Corps doctor is coming to town to do a Medical Site Visit, so I suppose I ought to clean a bit for him lest he report, "PCV Rebecca Grudzina lives in absolute squalor which will no doubt result in her contraction of avian flu and cockroach infestations." (No, I am really not that gross. It was only a rhetorical device. However, Dr. Robert does not need to see my drying underwear all over and a pile of dirty dishes in my sink.)
Oh, and by the by, check out the link under the my Go Here! section for my Flickr page....In the future I will put my awe-inspiring photos there because it is way easier and more asthetically pleasing than having them strewn about on this blog.
As expected, the clouds from yesterday have passed. The rain has turned to a light snow (which is better because at least you don't get as wet.) The headache appears to have worn itself out after a night of good solid sleep WITHOUT drugs. Yar, today was better.
I don't know if the kids were markedly better today or if my outlook was, but I actually found myself laughing and smiling in two of my classes (and this time not AT the kids.)
In my 8th grade class all the boys skipped with the exception of the two who are not jerks, which made for a very pleasant hour. Kaloyan, one of the boys, would simply not sit and I asked him what the beef was and he said he was antsy, so I decided to have them all do stretches. As soon as all the girls stood to do them, Kaloyan and Atanas (the boys) sat down in the back row and, in Bulgarian, willed the girls' pants to fall down. It was a funny moment, and I appreciate Kaloyan's sense of humor when it is not being plain disruptive. He speaks decent English too, but he is just so darn distracted and lazy and defiant (a typical boy his age) that he frustrates me. Usually if I tell him I am dissapointed in his behavior during a lesson he shapes up for a while.
I don't know if this is just me becoming a better teacher or the loosening my standards to prevent the onslaught of madness, but I am learning to kind of follow what the kids want to do in a lesson so long as it is mildy productive. The 4 girls in that class who speak pretty well wanted to take this Boy Quiz someone had made up rather than do the lesson in the book, so I told them that if they asked the questions in English they could do it. They tried to cheat and slip Bulgarian questions in, but I pounced on that. I also taught them "Knock Knock" jokes and they made one in Bulgarish:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Tih. (Bulgarian adjective for "quiet")
Tih who? (sounds like "Tiho!" the Bulgarian command for "Be quiet!")
Geez, I wasn't even being loud!
I think on Thursday I will teach them MASH if they get through the lesson.
Then I had my 5a class...the huge, slowly-getting-out-of-hand class. There is a massive dichotomy in that class between the kids who know a good bit of English and will probably track out of this place after 7th grade to go to Yambol and those who still can't read the alphabet, despite my offerings of extra help and classes. I was in a good mood today, so the chaos was not as wearing on me.
We were going over new words from the chapter and I was writing the English and Bulgarian on the board. One of the boys yelled, "Hey missus! Your handwriting is better than mine!" to which I quipped, "I know!" and we all laughed. Sometimes I messed up a word, and the kids all chuckled and rushed up to the board to help me. I hate getting bumrushed even in the best of moods, so I had them call out the letters to me if I didn't know the word. With 30 kids yelling at you in a foreign language, it's hard to understand anyone and we had some laughs trying to get me to figure out the correct spelling.
In the middle of the class, one of the other boys yelled, "Missus, this is the first time you've laughed in our class!" This might be true, and I told them that it would happen more often if they made me happy. They contemplated this, so perhaps I will have my happiness to use a weapon (I think they won't like to see me upset now that they know I have a nice smile. Teehee.) I am not blindly optimistic though. It's all very day-by-day here, if you couldn't tell.
After them I had my sixth graders, and they were okay until the three toxic boys came in late. Like most of my classes, they'd be fine if I could just get rid of those three boys...Well, one in particular who drives the other two astray. This is where In School Suspension would come in handy. That class is almost entirely male, and I have found that boys are much easier led into loud, disruptive behavior than girls. While in play situations I prefer the rough-and-tumble boy life, I definately like teaching girls en masse more.
And that was that for my Day Proper. I had a SIP that no one showed for (no doubt it's too cold for them) and a lesson they also didn't show for (again, it's cold). Now I am home, chilling with the cat who is pissed because I cut her fingernails this afternoon. Tomorrow the Peace Corps doctor is coming to town to do a Medical Site Visit, so I suppose I ought to clean a bit for him lest he report, "PCV Rebecca Grudzina lives in absolute squalor which will no doubt result in her contraction of avian flu and cockroach infestations." (No, I am really not that gross. It was only a rhetorical device. However, Dr. Robert does not need to see my drying underwear all over and a pile of dirty dishes in my sink.)
Oh, and by the by, check out the link under the my Go Here! section for my Flickr page....In the future I will put my awe-inspiring photos there because it is way easier and more asthetically pleasing than having them strewn about on this blog.
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