Tale of a woman scorned

Stupid Bulgarian mail.

I have been very gentle with the system.

I've dealt with the fact that I have to go to a town 30 minutes away on public transportation to get any package over 2 kilos.

I've dealt with the fact that I have to go between 10:30 and 11:30 a.m. on Monday, Wednesday or Friday (which with my schedule as an actual working adult means I can only come Wednesday) to get the package.

I've even come to grips with the fact that I always seem to receive the notifications that I have a package on THURSDAY, the day AFTER I am able to go, which means waiting another week.

I find humor in all these things. I find adventure. I write funny blogs about how I am considered a terrorist and interrogated about Victoria Secret Bandaids and children's books.

But today, dear Bulgarian Postal System, you have gone too far. TOO FAR. You have taken a sleeve of Girl Scout thin mints from me. And that, friend, crosses a line.

I will elaborate. Today I went to pick up two packages from home. One was filled with books from my father's company to give to the school. The other was *meant* to have 2 boxes of Girl Scout thin mint cookies and 2 Neutrogena foundation compacts (valued $10 a piece and priceless to me).

The last several times I have gotten packages I have been forced to open them and go over the conents with the people in the office, which I am used to by now. I showed them the books, made small talk about how I teach in Straldja, blah blah.

Then I attempted to open the second box. There was an abnormal amount of tape on it, and it took the three of us a good long time to get it open. When we finally did, I saw two boxes of cookies wrapped in bubblewrap, one of which was open. One sleeve of cookies was missing.

While this may seem strange, I figured that my dad (who is something of a cookie monster) had eaten half of them then threw the rest in the box at the last minute. I did not, however, see any makeup, which had been the original purpose of the package. This I chocked up to my mother's sometimes forgetfulness.

Since both scenerios kind of made sence, and I didn't see a banner sticker that said it had been opened for inspection, I put the cookies in my bag and tossed the box so I didn't have to lug two boxes all the way home.

Once there, I emailed my mom to see what was up with the makeup. She called and said she had included it, and did I check the bubblewrap. (This I had done very carefully.) As soon as she said that, I recalled the opened box of cookies. Again, she said that they had both been full when mailed. Which left one option.....

Some theif in Sofia or somewhere between Sofia and here is EATING MY GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! That's right, a THEIF!

So to all my friends in Bulgaria, heed my warning. When your parents and friends send you things, have them put BIG LABELS over both the upside and bottomside creases. This way, if the box is opened on either side, you will be able to tell, and if there is not an inspection sticker on it you know it was not looked at legally.

May those cookies turn to rancid Augmentin in that theif's mouth. (You guys remember Augmentin? That stuff was gross.)